The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

Being a parent is the most difficult job in the world.  It can be the most rewarding one, but at times it can be the most thankless.  The last couple of days have been a difficult parenting stretch...especially with so many days off from school for holidays and weather, the togetherness and lack of routine has gotten to us all.  With so many personalities (I have 4 kids) and age ranges (I have twins that are 7 and 2 teenagers), there is always some kind of conflict, drama, or need that falls into my lap.

By no means am I complaining, I love being a parent.  It is just some days it is really interesting how I can feel so alone in a house full of people, especially when I am struggling with Lyme herxing.  It is crazy how one can feel not heard when there are four pairs of ears in the same room.  As I told a friend the other day, I guess you can't make someone see what they don't want to see, hear what they don't want to hear, or believe what they don't want to believe.  Anyway, normally that doesn't bother me, but when it deals with my own kids, I have to admit it is a struggle to let it go.

I just wish my kids knew that every decision I make is out of love for them although they sometimes can't see or understand it.  I wish there was a way I could give them a crystal ball so they can see what being a parent entails from their own perspective so that they understood I don't hate them...just the opposite, I love them with an intensity that can't be described by words, which is sometimes why the answer to their requests must be no.

Anyway, this too shall pass.  I know I will miss these difficult parenting days soon when my teens are out and on their own.  Then the house will seem too big, too quiet, and too empty.  So, I will take the bad with the good and cherish it all; the good, the bad, and the ugly.