During These Dark Days

During these dark days of fevers, vomiting, exhaustion, and pain,

I have leaned on many things to help me through and distract me

from the hell I go through each day.

Books (when I can concentrate and read), music (when my ears can take sound),

movies (when my eyes aren't too sensitive for the flickering of light),

and blogging (when my fingers are actually strong and flexible enough to type)

all have helped pass the time in between sleeping as my body 

adjusts to the medications and learns how to kill the enemy inside me.

Today I am thankful for one particular documentary I watched this morning.

Just as I was telling my husband, with a throw-up bucket at the ready,

that I can NOT do this anymore,

a documentary entitled TEACH came on the television.

If you know me from my past life, you know I am an educator at heart

and graduated with a teaching degree.

Some of the best years of my life were spent teaching the students I loved so much

and I miss it almost every day despite making the choice to leave the profession

to raise my own children.

I still have a deep seeded desire to teach and although I have no plans 

on going back to the classroom full time at this point,

the documentary gave me an idea that I latched on to and will hold as a goal

for when I am well and full of life again.

I want to go back to the classroom as a volunteer and use my skills

to inspire and help teach young children again.

I cried all the way through the movie because I miss the feeling of 

watching the young minds discover new ideas and skills

and watching young spirits grow confident in their abilities.

I don't want to just make copies or pass out papers,

I want to be an active participant in educating the children.

We, as a country, can do better than what we are doing in providing 

an education to our future leaders.

I want to be a part of that.

So, now I have a goal to work toward.

I will never give up photography, but I have been thinking of 

where I would like to dedicate my volunteer hours and be of service to others

and I have found the answer.

I will use my God-given talent of teaching in some way to give back

to the community...and I can't wait until I am able.

xo