17/365-Why Being Told "No" Is a Blessing

The Solution is to Work Harder- Altered Photography by Tracey Grumbach

“I do not understand it. I would not have believed that such things could happen on our farm. It must be due to some fault in ourselves. The solution, as I see it, is to work harder. From now onwards I shall get up a full hour earlier in the mornings.”
―George Orwell; Animal Farm

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Today I am grateful for being told "no."  I know that sounds like a strange thing to be grateful for, but honestly, I've come to appreciate it. The other day I was chatting with a girlfriend about opportunities and making choices about a direction in life. As I have grown in my relationship with the Lord, I have not only realized that God hears all of our prayers, but He also answers all our prayers with either a "yes", a "no", or a "wait".  In my "before" life, that is life before Chronic Lyme Disease, I would often feel rejected and defeated when the answer to a prayer or a wish was "no." It made me feel not good enough, like something was wrong with me.

In my "after" life, that is life after Chronic Lyme Disease, I have drawn closer to God and began trying my best to allow Him the driver seat of my life. Instead of thinking I knew what opportunities and direction were best for me, I began trusting that His vision of my life was much better than my own. That is when I began to pray a bit differently. Now, when I pray about an opportunity or direction in my life, I pray that I may trust and be content with whatever direction He sees fit for me.

Sometimes that means being prepared for a "no" or a "wait" answer and trusting that His will is way better than my will. Matthew 20:22 shows us that sometimes, with our measly human brains and human will, we do not know what we are asking of Him. Even in asking for greatness for her sons, the mother (in Matthew 20) knows not the implications of what she is asking. How could she? How can we? We can not see into the future and all the implications and directions a certain choice will bring us.

So, today I am grateful that in two recent situations I have asked for something and have been told "no" or "wait". One was to have my art published in a certain magazine and the other was to write for a collaborative blog. Both times I was told no. My first reaction was to feel rejected and hurt, not good enough. But then I reminded myself that I can not forsee my future path. Perhaps the timing isn't right for either of these jobs. Perhaps God has in store for me even better opportunities that I can't see yet. Perhaps neither of these opportunities matched with the path God wants for me. I don't know the answer, but I do know that the one thing I can trust is God. Now, I am even more excited to see what is in store for my future rather than be dejected by "no."

To tie this all in back to the digital art piece and quote, sometimes our solutions to problems are misguided and lacking in perspective. God is never misguided and has the ultimate perspective...He is all knowing. So, perhaps the solution is not always to work harder at something but rather be still and trust Him.

Have a wonderful Saturday.

xo

Deo Uni Et Trino- St. Louis Missouri

About this image: Taken in St. Louis, this image reminds me of my fascination with the concept of trinity. God the father, God the son, and God the Holy Spirit. I have recently embarked on a new spiritual journey yearning to be closer to God. I am searching for a new church home and visited a church last Sunday (not the one pictured here, obviously, since this one is in St. Louis) that I really liked. I look forward to visiting again in the future to find out if this is the right place for me and my family. I am searching for health and contentment in all aspects of my life, physical, mental, and spiritual. I'm working on the physical continuously, I've recently had a mental health tune up with my favorite therapist, and now am looking for some spiritual growth. I'm learning to let go and let God, which for me, a lifelong control freak, is a huge undertaking requiring lots of faith.

In what areas of your life are you seeking growth and contentment?

Have a wonderful Thursday.

xo

Innocence

I had one of those moments of clarity today while I was reading with my first grader.  He decided to read a short biography about Martin King Luther Jr., which ended up being very appropriate considering today is MLK Jr's actual birthday and the nation will celebrate his birthday on Monday.  Anyway, my 7 year old was reading about what life was like for black people in Martin's day and my son was appalled.  He couldn't believe they had separate schools for whites and blacks.  He couldn't believe that blacks had to give up their seats on the bus for whites.  He couldn't believe blacks had to wait at the back of the line and allow whites to be served first.

He shook his head, looked at me and said, "Well, that's not fair."

So simple.

Then he said, "Well, what if a white boy and a black boy wanted to be best friends...they couldn't because they couldn't go to the same school.  I don't understand."

My moment of clarity came when I thought about how innocent youth is.  When thinking of his open heart and unprejudiced mind, I remembered that the Bible tells us a little something about being more like a child...

Luke 18:17 says "Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it.”

Matthew 18:3 says “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.

and Matthew 19:14 says "But Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.”

I thought these verses meant that we should have blind, unquestioning faith just as a child does.  But today I realized that instead, perhaps it simply means that in order to be more God-like we need to strive to have the innocence and open heart of a child.  Kindness, tolerance, an open heart and mind...that, my dear son, is what you taught me today, and you didn't even know it...from now on I will strive to see the world more like you.