Birds of a Feather

I spent a lot of years trying to outrun or outsmart vulnerability by making things certain and definite, black and white, good and bad. My inability to lean into the discomfort of vulnerability limited the fullness of those important experiences that are wrought with uncertainty: Love, belonging, trust, joy, and creativity to name a few.

Brene Brown

This quote rang so true for me when I read it.  This is what I am trying to do now, as I change and grow into my best self...lean into the discomfort of vulnerability so that I can enjoy the fullness of my experiences.  Being vulnerable was never my strong suit.  I loved portraying the strong, confident woman who could maneuver in tight spots and still come out shining.  The one who always was in control and had it together.  The "I don't need anyone else" philosophy that kept most at an arm's length from knowing the real me.  Yeah, I was really good at that scheme.

The only problem is, all of that was a mask.  Through the past year, with the passing of my father and the diagnosis of my illness, I began a journey of self reflection.  Once I admitted that I was NOT always strong and confident, all the walls shattered and my real self was able to shine through.  I don't like feeling uncomfortable...who does?  But I now know growth can only take place when there are growing pains and growing pains are uncomfortable.  This move from photography to art was and still is uncomfortable and I had to be vulnerable in a whole new sense.  But it was worth the risk...it has paid dividends in the awesome feeling I get when I finish a piece of work.  

Vulnerability...I still don't like it, but I have realized it is my friend.  I was, for sure, a black/white type of person but now, as I change, I am finding there is a lot of beauty in the grays.  During this change, I have found myself flocking, so to speak, to those like minded people who are open to vulnerability and spirituality and introspection like I now am.  It feels like home.  It feels like my tribe.  I finally found where I belong.  I had to tear down the walls myself before I could be content and stand in this space, but here I am.  And I am happy with it.  

Birds of a Feather...so glad I have my flock along with me for this winged dance called life.  So glad you are a part of it too.

xo

Innocence

I had one of those moments of clarity today while I was reading with my first grader.  He decided to read a short biography about Martin King Luther Jr., which ended up being very appropriate considering today is MLK Jr's actual birthday and the nation will celebrate his birthday on Monday.  Anyway, my 7 year old was reading about what life was like for black people in Martin's day and my son was appalled.  He couldn't believe they had separate schools for whites and blacks.  He couldn't believe that blacks had to give up their seats on the bus for whites.  He couldn't believe blacks had to wait at the back of the line and allow whites to be served first.

He shook his head, looked at me and said, "Well, that's not fair."

So simple.

Then he said, "Well, what if a white boy and a black boy wanted to be best friends...they couldn't because they couldn't go to the same school.  I don't understand."

My moment of clarity came when I thought about how innocent youth is.  When thinking of his open heart and unprejudiced mind, I remembered that the Bible tells us a little something about being more like a child...

Luke 18:17 says "Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it.”

Matthew 18:3 says “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.

and Matthew 19:14 says "But Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.”

I thought these verses meant that we should have blind, unquestioning faith just as a child does.  But today I realized that instead, perhaps it simply means that in order to be more God-like we need to strive to have the innocence and open heart of a child.  Kindness, tolerance, an open heart and mind...that, my dear son, is what you taught me today, and you didn't even know it...from now on I will strive to see the world more like you.

Customer Satisfaction

What I Can No Longer Eat...For Now, Anyway.

Today I am thankful for outstanding customer service...

Let's face it, it is a dying art.

 

Since I began my gluten free/dairy free diet, 

eating out has become a nightmare.

There are so many restaurants out there (fast food and otherwise)

that have servers and cooks who have no clue what is in the food they are serving.

It has been frustrating, to say the least, to ask a waitress if the 

vegetables were cooked in butter and then she has to disappear for 

30 minutes while she tracks down someone who knows what is in the food

or knows how the food is prepared.

Call me crazy, but I think if you work at a restaurant, 

you should know about the foods your offer.

So, after many frustrating run ins,

imagine my relief when I had to stop in Chic-Fil-A 

the other day (unexpectedly) to feed my kids and myself.

I was dreading trying to order something for myself

and apologized to the cashier explaining I was gluten and dairy free 

and that I would need some help with the menu.

In Chick-Fil-A style, she responded that it would be her pleasure to help me

and reached down to pull out a gluten free list of food 

along with EVERY INGREDIENT in each food item!

Holy Cow!

(See what I did there...COW, Chick-Fil-A...haha).

 I couldn't believe it.

A restaurant that handed over every ingredient to everything on the menu.

Just. Like. That.

No fussing, no half-hour wait, no looking at me like I was crazy.

Needless to say, I will be returning there when I am in a pinch for something to eat.

I don't make eating out a habit any more,

but it is good to know I have a stand-by in an emergency...

and I have an ingredient list right in my truck for reference!

Thank you, Chick-Fil-A, for your continued commitment

to customer service...it is very much appreciated!

xo