The Moment Passed and I Let It

I should have known better. How many times in my life have I told myself to follow my gut instincts. Hundreds? Thousands? But there is always that lingering doubt in my head...this time my instinct is not correct and I will make a fool of myself.

Last night we took my daughter out for dinner to celebrate her amazing end-of-year report card from her sophomore year. It has been such a busy summer that we are just now getting around to it. She chose a Japanese Hibachi Grill in Hunt Valley for her congratulatory dinner. There they seat you with other people, strangers, if your party does not fill all the seats around the grill. We filled three seats, so another party of 6 was seated with us just a few minutes after us. Immediately I felt a connection and draw toward one of the women at the table. I don't know why, but I just felt as if I knew her. I turned to my daughter and said as much and she, being the teen that she is, told me I was crazy and shrugged me off.

But the feeling persisted and I kept glimpsing at the woman and trying to hear just a bit of conversation between her and her companions to see if I could catch her name. Perhaps knowing her name would jar my memory and allow me to place the woman that I felt I knew. I was unable to learn her name, but I turned to my daughter again and said, "Should I say something to that woman? I think I know her." Of course, she replied, "No, don't Mom! You will embarrass me!" So, I didn't.

At one point during dinner I even thought of her name. On the tip of my tongue were the words, "Excuse me, is your name ____________?" But, I didn't because I didn't want to embarrass my daughter, or myself for that matter. The group seemed happy and content in their own conversation, so I let the moment pass. We finished up dinner and we left but the feeling of knowing wouldn't leave.  I actually told my daughter as we were walking in the parking lot, "I think that was my second cousin that I've never met."  She laughed at me and told me I was crazy.

After running a few errands, we came home. I decided to browse facebook to see if I could put this feeling to rest that was nagging me. I went to my second cousin's page (we became friends on facebook back in November after discovering we were related on a private family facebook group. After my father passed, I discovered in that group many second cousins on his side, most of whom I have never met in person.). Sure enough, on her wall she had posted a picture of the group she was with at the restaurant. My jaw dropped. It was her! I was right! I should have followed my gut instinct and met the second cousin I had never met in person but I let the chance pass. I was so disappointed. These chances don't come by very often and here I was sitting at the same hibachi grill with her and we didn't even know it. Well, I knew it in my gut, but I didn't listen.

Through Facebook I did let her know that I was the person she sat with that evening for dinner. We were both sad we didn't have the opportunity to connect and missed our chance. Perhaps in the near future we will plan a get together so we can meet and catch up on family matters. It is just strange that after all these years I was serendipitously placed at the same table with my second cousin and I let the chance to get to know her slide by.

Moral of the story...always, always follow your gut.

xo