When Your Child Leaves for College for the First Time

Yellow Spider Chrysanthemum by Harford County Digital Artist Tracey Grumbach
Part of the Portrait of a Flower Series

 I opened my eyes in the dim morning light, filtered by the clouds of a rainy day. The house felt so quiet and empty. So still. My first thought was, she is gone. I had a sinking feeling in my stomach and a physical, not theoretical, ache in my heart. The thing all parents wish for, to raise children capable of living a healthy, productive, meaningful, independent life was coming true after 18 years of raising her to be the person she is today. And yet that didn't help the terrible empty feeling in the house she left behind when she packed up her room and embarked on a journey of a lifetime.

I am so incredibly proud of her. She is taking a leap of faith despite being unsure. She is being brave despite being frightened. She is letting go when all she wants to do is cling to what she knows. She is ready. We are ready. Being ready doesn't mean she won't hurt and we won't miss her. Those feelings aren't bad feelings. Those feelings are a testament to our close relationship with our children. They are proof that we invested our time, energy, and heart into raising her. These feelings will ease with time and a new normal will eventually just become normal. I will take my own advice that I gave to Brenna...it is OK to feel these strong feelings. You will miss home. You will miss us. Feel those feelings in their full force because without them, happiness and comfort have no definition. So, I will feel these strong feelings and welcome them. They are a sign I am moving into the next phase of life, and that is OK. I am OK. She is OK. We are all OK.

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Continuing my series, Portrait of a Flower, this yellow spider chrysanthemum tells us the days of fall are creeping ever nearer. I simply can not believe how quickly the summer has gone. I knew this summer would be fast because of all the preparation and anticipation of Brenna leaving for college and getting Tyler ready to leave for his school in October, but it has just disappeared. The weather the last week has even felt more fall like. I am sure the summer heat will pop back in soon, as it always seems to do in the beginning of fall in Maryland. In the meantime, I will embrace the coming changing of seasons just as I will embrace the changing of seasons my life right now...with awe, and wonder, and thankfulness that I am here to experience it.

May you have a wonderful Monday!
xo