50/365- Goodbye For Now...

Fairy Duster Plant

Sometimes we all need a change. I know for me this has been an entire season of change. My oldest children have struck out on their own and my youngest have returned to public school after 2 years. Nothing feels quite right in the house and I have been struggling to find my place. So, in the interest of my health, both mental and physical, I am taking a break from blogging to revamp my life, my business, and my website.

I am going to take some time to take long naps, read some good books, catch up on Masterpiece Theater, practice photography, and do some local traveling. I am in the process of applying to be a substitute teacher again. I am volunteering in the schools. I may take a few trips to visit family. I am going to go for long walks and a few bike rides. I will take time each day to enjoy my favorite season. I am not sure when I will be back to blogging, but I always return.

I will still be posting on Instagram, Facebook, and possibly Twitter, so if you'd like to stay in touch, please do. I am continuing with my project 365 over on these venues, so please connect if you enjoy that sort of thing.

In the meantime, I will say goodbye for now. Have a wonderful Autumn and I will see you all soon.

xo

Let It Rain- Photography by Tracey Grumbach

Let It Rain- Digital Photography by Tracey Grumbach

Canon 5DMarkIII
EF 100mm Macro 100mm f/2.8
1/640 sec; f/5.6 ISO 320
Aperture Priority
Edited with various iPhone6SPlus Apps

"For after all, the best thing one can do when it is raining is let it rain."
-Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

When the tears make tracks upon your cheeks,
Allow them.
When your heart aches like it will shatter at any moment,
Let it.
When sadness rises in your throat like hot bile,
Grant it permission.
When panic surges and steals your breath,
Surrender to it.
When waves of loss drown you,
Yield to it.
When grief grows in your belly, filling you up,
Own it.

For after all,
the best thing one can do when it is raining
Is let it rain.

Hoping your Monday is beautiful and safe. Sending love to you all in the world.

xo

Memory, In Widow's Weeds 2- Digital Art Series by Tracey Grumbach

Portrait of a Flower Series- Digital Art by Tracey Grumbach

This is the second image in a series study I did of Queen Anne's Lace.  I actually like this one a bit better than the first one I did. I have a few more coming down the pike as well. I've really enjoyed doing a study of a single flower. I might have to do that more often. Did you all know that Queen Anne's Lace is actually in the same family as the carrot? I had no idea it had an edible root until I started doing a bit of research. Fascinating, I tell you!

I am heading in for blood work again today to check on the status of my liver. Prayers for good news would be very much appreciated.

Have a wonderful Thursday.

xo

Single White Rose- Digital Art by Tracey Grumbach

Out of all the flower and still life shots I took the other day using my tabletop soft box, this one is my favorite. I used a single LED light that came with my soft-box setup to create directional lighting and beautiful shadowing on the rose and the bottle. Then, I took a picture using my iPhone 6S Plus (I didn't have enough energy to climb my studio stairs and work with with my Canon 5D Mark III) and edited it in various apps including Brushstroke, Image Blender, Snapseed.  Next, I beamed it over to my iMac using PhotoSync to tweak it in Photoshop CC. I love the shadows and light and also the painterly quality of the texture. I hope you like it too.

Yesterday was a huge turning point for me as a mom getting ready to send my daughter off to college. While we were sitting as a family at dinner, my husband announced that Brenna, my oldest daughter, now has an address for her home away from home. The apartment complex where my daughter will be living has identified the specific apartment she will get and sent us all the information as well as the lease. I know it sounds weird, adding her Winter Park, FL address into her contact in my iPhone made her move feel so close and so official. It was another level of reckoning in my preparation of watching her spread her wings.

In addition, Brenna and I did a big burst of online shopping together to pick out some essentials she will be needing to furnish her apartment! On the top priority list was bedding, lamps (there is no lighting in the apartment except the bathroom), shower curtain, and a cover for the used couch that was given to her by a neighbor. She has collected a lot of free hand-me-down furniture for the kitchen and living room and we are transporting her own bedroom furniture when we move her. Family and friends have given her some other essentials like bath towels, kitchen utensils and towels, silverware, dishes, etc. I think she is pretty close to being prepared to leave. We are just about 6 weeks away! Crazy. It is a lot for this Mamma's heart to contend with but I am so thrilled for her. Fly, baby girl, fly!

Remember when I told you yesterday that I was signing up for a class to learn how to video, market, and run online art classes? Well, while I was on the website to sign up for that, I came across another fantastic class called "Figurescapes." It is a digital art class that combines abstract iPad drawings of the human form with digital elements to create a final figurative piece. Since I am always on the lookout to expand my knowledge and art repertoire, I signed up for that class too! I am so stinking excited. The good news is that both classes are self-paced and I have access to the lessons online for a lifetime...there is no need for me to feel pressured or stressed about finishing at a certain time. It is perfect for me right now...I can do bits and pieces as I feel up to it and not worry about losing my money if I don't feel well enough for a few days.

Last, today I am humbly requesting prayers today, specifically that my white blood cell count may be high enough to perform the blood test that I desperately need. Last week the lab called my doctor to report my white blood count was too critically low to even perform the test, so after a week of immune boosting medicine, I am hoping today my white blood count cooperates. Thank you!

Have an amazing Thursday...Friday is in sight! xo

Chamomile

According to many of the flower meaning websites out there chamomile represents patience and it also attracts wealth. I think that is a worthy flower to keep around! About a week ago I had to make a stop at Wegman's market and I treated myself to a farmer's bouquet. All week I had planned on photographing it until life happened and all the flowers began to die. That is except, of course, this lone chamomile flower and the beautiful greenery that was with it. So, I decided to go with the shoot anyway, preserving the beauty of this delicate, tiny flower.  One of my passions, now that I can't get out very much, is using my tabletop soft box to do portraits of flowers. They are just so much fun to work with.

Now that the kids are going back to school in September, I have been getting more and more excited about all the free time I will have to focus on art. I am planning on taking some art classes as well as teach digital art classes. It is funny how the universe works...I just put out there to my husband the other day that I need to figure out how to video tape myself doing the editing process on my iOS devices and on Photoshop so I can do online classes. Well, what should appear in my inbox from another artist (who does online classes)?  That's right, a class about how to record, teach, and market online art classes. Bingo! So, I am signing up for that class and will be working through it this summer from my home. Then, in the fall, I will be searching local colleges to start some hands-on art classes. I am looking for one in particular for art journaling,  mixed media, or collage. I'd consider taking a beginning painting class too. I am so excited to have 6 hours a day to dedicate to resting or art when the fall comes. After two full years of 24/7 with my little ones, it will be a welcome time to focus on healing myself and expressing myself. I think I will be a better person, wife, and mother, and friend for it.

Speaking of painting classes, I am taking Zach and Natalie to their first canvas art class today. I will post pictures to my FB when they finish the project today. I will enjoy watching them and learning from the instructor as well! They are super excited about it. They have 4 classes this summer with 4 different canvases they will paint. Good times.

Just a side note, I've added a section to the blog menu called The Mighty. On that page is a link to my The Mighty author's page where you can find a link to all of my written articles about Lyme Disease and Chronic Illness. So far I am honored to have three published! Two of them were previously published here on the blog but the third one I wrote specifically for The Mighty, so if you'd like to read my latest article, Why Hugging You Is Not Good For My Health, please click through. If you like it and find the article useful, would you please consider clicking the heart on that page or using the social media icons to share it? Thanks! The more I use my voice to help others understand chronic illness or make others feel they are not alone in walking through this, the better!

Be sure to tune in tomorrow to see my favorite flower portrait I took yesterday...a white rose. 

Have a beautiful Wednesday!

xo

Hibiscus Emerging- Portrait of a Flower

For man, as for flower and beast and bird, 

the supreme triumph is to be most vividly, most perfectly alive.

~D.H. Lawrence

I am still collecting donations throughout the month of May and donating a portion of the profit from the sale of my art in the month of May to NatCapLyme.org- an organization that helps with research, education, legislation, and support for those suffering and treating Lyme Disease. If you would like to help people like me and so many others who suffer daily from this disease, please visit Arts By the Bay Gallery in Havre de Grace where there are donation boxes until May 31. If you can't make it out to the gallery, please consider donating online using the following instructions.

1.  Go to NatCapLyme.org's donation page.
2.  Click on Fundraising Event in the tab section.
3.  In the Select Event for Fundraising dropdown menu choose the bottom one...Arts By the Bay Gallery Ticked Off Lyme Disease Awareness Event.
4.  Fill out the rest of the form and submit!

Through My Illness I Learned Rejection

Not going to lie, I've been having a difficult time lately. Not sure what is going on but I feel like I am starting all over again with symptoms. Every single day is a struggle to get out of bed. I am saving all my energy for homeschooling and getting ready for the Ticked Off-Lyme Disease Awareness Event coming up on May 5th. I have to have all my art in in just a few weeks, so it is taking a lot of my energy every day to mat and frame a few pieces after teaching the kids all day.

I did have my Homeschool Review at the end of last week and I passed with flying colors, so no problems there. I wasn't really worried since I am vigilant at keeping portfolios of the kids' work and making sure to teach all the subjects, but I am glad it is over nonetheless.

On top of adding to the stress, I started my desktop Mac today only to find that after about 10 years it is dead. That is my major art computer as I don't have the proper software on the laptops, so I am just totally sick to my stomach. No producing art for a while until I get a new computer.

I want to wish my husband, Brian, a very happy birthday today. He has been an amazing support to me all these years trying to fight this chronic illness. I am so thankful for that. 

I hope everyone is feeling good and enjoying the spring weather.

Hugs

xo

Sunflower in Ball Jar- Digital Art By Tracey Grumbach

The last few weeks have been difficult ones. When dealing with any chronic illness, stress can be a huge factor in how your immune system responds to latent illnesses, such as EBV. When stress suppresses the immune system, those illnesses that are lying in wait can flare and cause a host of issues. This is exactly what is happening to me, I believe. My lab results show elevated levels of EBV as well as C. pneumoniae. Additional tests show lack of oxygen being carried to my brain and the rest of my body. All of these things can cause exhaustion, headaches, depression, and many other issues.  Lately, my stress levels have been very, very high, allowing the perfect environment for these illnesses to rear their ugly heads. Thanks to Lyme and co-infections, my immune system was almost non-existent to begin with, so when stress comes along to hammer it down even more, I get very sick. That is why I haven't been blogging and posting as much on social media. I've been trying to lie low and take care of myself.

Anyway, a beautiful bouquet of sunflowers was given to my mother for her birthday while she was staying here at my house. I took the opportunity to use my tabletop lightbox and shoot some portraits of these amazing creations. I just love the combination of blue and yellow...very calming for me. This one is in route from the art printer and I can't wait to see how it looks in person. If you'd like to see it too, be sure to stop in to Arts By the Bay Gallery beginning on April 28th (opening reception for the spring show which I am the featured artist for) and June 25th (the closing for the spring show). Don't forget to come out the night of May 5th to the Ticked Off-Lyme Disease Awareness Event to help support the us in educating the community about the dangers of Lyme Disease! It is going to be a good time.

Have a wonderful week, y'all.

xo

Portrait of a Flower- Digital Art By Tracey Grumbach

About this image: Tired of the normal flower pictures, I decided to instead, do a portrait of a flower, an impression of a flower, a flower that remained in my brain after a sweet dream. Using photography and digital painting, I created this piece. I was inspired by the beautiful birthday bouquet we bought my mother and had displayed at her party. I recently bought a tabletop softbox studio and used that to capture individual photos of some of my favorite flowers in the bunch. This, paper thin, lacy edged beauty caught my eye first. Despite several attempts, I was unable to identify its name. If you know, please tell me. I would love to know.

Thank you to those who let me know my website was down yesterday. As it turns out, my hosting site was having site wide issues which affected mine. Happily, it seems to be running with no glitches this morning and is fully back online. I appreciate y'all looking out for me!

I hope you had a fabulous weekend and enter this work week with a smile and spring in your step.

xo

What Remains of That Whisper- Digital Artist Tracey Grumbach

About this image: As the velvety petals of your rose began to age and harden around the edges, I strained to still hear the words whispered in my ear all of those days ago. What was it you said when your breath was so gentle and feathery on my cheek? The words are no longer clear, but the intonation still vibrates in my chest. The rise and fall of your whisper still lingers in the recesses of my mind. As I recall, my reply was sweet on my tongue but bitter in my heart. But you didn't know that and you smiled your sweet smile. Now this, and the memory, is all that remains.


You are cordially invited to the May 5th event, Ticked Off- Lyme Disease Awareness Event, at Arts By the Bay Gallery in Havre de Grace, Maryland from 6PM-9PM! I will be presenting 3 walls of my art as well as speaking about my experience with trying to get properly diagnosed with and treated for Chronic Lyme Disease. I will discuss how my life has changed including how art has become a vehicle for me to express myself when I no longer could rely on words. We will have an informational table about Lyme Disease and how to protect yourself as well as personnel from Harford Lyme Advocates to answer questions you may have! A portion of proceeds from the sale of my art will go back to the local community to support Lyme sufferers and their families by funding education, legislation, and research!  Please mark your calendars now as you won't want to miss this! I have some fun things planned and I have other artists working on some art specifically for this event! Hope to see you there!

Cheerful Leadership- Digital Art

About this image: I've always loved blue and yellow together. So, when the rest of the bouquet died away and all I was left with was yellow daisies, I placed them lovingly in my blue glass bottle and smiled. For they seemed to belong right there, in its embrace, the blue grounding and complementing the cheerfulness of the yellow. According to some sources, the color yellow, especially in flowers, means cheerfulness, and the daisy represents leadership or a large endeavor. Thus, the title Cheerful Leadership. If I were a flower, I would follow these beauties, would you not?

Have a beautiful Friday and the rest of your weekend.

xo

Embrace Your Uniqueness

I want to encourage women to embrace their own uniqueness. Because just like a rose is beautiful, so is a sunflower, so is a peony. I mean, all flowers are beautiful in their own way, and that's like women too.
Miranda Kerr

And here we are at Friday again.  TGIF!  Another busy day filled with real estate shoots, a quick drop in to The Gallery at 122 Main, and then back to my home office to edit!  This evening I am looking forward to seeing Dirty Dancing live at the Hippodrome Theater in Baltimore.  Perhaps I will take along my camera tonight to shoot a bit before the show.  Maybe not...I might have my fill of cameras by the time I head out tonight.  We'll see.

I loved this quote by Miranda Kerr.  Uniqueness...what makes you stand out from others?  What gives you that certain beauty that no one else seems to have?  I believe it is a difficult question for most women to answer because our society has pigeon-holed beauty into such a tiny almost unattainable list of traits that have nothing to do with real women.   I think it is interesting that when women are interviewed about what beauty is, they normally will answer with physical characteristics. When men are interviewed about what makes a woman beautiful, many often give internal traits, character traits, as it were, as an answer.  Women are so worried about their outside appearances to impress men, yet most men are looking for good values in a woman.  That is not to say that we shouldn't take care of ourselves and care nothing about our appearances.  It just means that we as women need to give ourselves a break and teach our girls that the inside is way more beautiful than the outside.

I am working hard with my two girls to make them see that clothes, make-up, and physical characteristics don't make a woman beautiful.  It is the inner qualities that shine through that make a woman glow and attract others to be in her company.  It is not an easy battle to fight with all the media bombardment they get from society, but it is a worthwhile fight that begins with me.  I had to change how I saw myself before I could teach my girls to judge themselves by their insides, not their outsides.

For this piece, I was first inspired by the above quote and then I found this vintage photograph to begin working with.  

Next, I colorized her arms and hair in photoshop.  Then I took an image of the flower and merged the two into a collage, painting and merging her body into the shape of the flower.  I didn't like the image quality of the face in this original photo, so I found another vintage photo of a woman that had better image quality and used that to paint the features onto the our flower woman's face.  Once I had everything the way I wanted it, I imported the flattened file into Painter and used oil brushes to paint the overall image.  Back in Photoshop, I then layered the painted file with several textures to create the crackled, texturized image in the background.  I also cloned the middle of the flower and replaced the stars in her headband with the center of the flower since it felt a little Wonder Woman to me with stars.  Next, I tweaked colors, shading, and levels and then it was complete.  I hope you all like it!  

Have a wonderful weekend, everyone!

Luxury Lives in the Finer Details- The Gallery at 122 Main

"Luxury lives in the finer details." ~Iggy Azalea

This is the third piece that will be hanging in the the April show of The Gallery at 122 Main.  I am really looking forward to seeing all the art go up on April 3 and to the opening reception on April 10! I hope everyone has marked their calendars and will come on out to say hello!  This piece is matted and framed with the finished dimensions as 23" (h) by 33' (w) and is listed at $175.00! You must see this one in person, as the saturation on the photographic paper is tremendous!

If you are interested in smaller prints, I have 8" x 12" prints for sale at Nine Acres Designs website for $31.90.  You can add lustre coating and matboard for a nominal cost.  The three prints that are hanging in the April show, The Heart Finds Its Morning, and Promising Too Much, as well as this one will be on sale at my website for a LIMITED TIME ONLY, so please don't delay with your orders.

I hope you all have a wonderful Friday!  I am looking forward to a morning real estate shoot and then some much needed pampering in the afternoon in the form of a spring haircut!  Have a great weekend and I will see you on the other side.

P.S.  I am collecting reader questions over at Nine Acres Designs on Facebook via private message, or you can email me questions from this blog (see side bar) to feature and answer on an upcoming blog post.  You can ask private or personal questions (within decent limits!) and I'd be happy to answer!  Thanks to those who have already sent some in!  This is going to be fun!

The Heart Finds Its Morning

"For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed."

~Khalil Gibran

This macro of a hibiscus flower is the second piece that will be showing in the April show at The Gallery at 122 Main.  It is matted and framed and it measures 18 x 15 inches for its completed size.  The cost will be $80.00.  I don't know about you, but I am attracted to flowers because they do refresh me and remind me of the beautiful, intricate world all around me.  I love surrounding myself with flowers and try to treat myself at least once a month to a bouquet to brighten up my living space. During summer, I love having hanging baskets all along the porch line, celebrating the season.

In case you missed the post about the first piece that will be in the show, Promising Too Much, you can click on the link and see that one as well.  Just like that macro of a rose bud, this print is also for sale at my website.  I am only offering these prints in one size and that is  8" x 12 " prints for $31.90. You can also add a lustre coating and a mat board for a small additional cost.  You can find these prints at nineacresdesigns.com under the Portfolio>Plant Kingdom tab.  These prints will only be available for a limited time, so hurry!

Thanks so much for all the support I've received from everyone!  It is an exciting time and I appreciate all the love from everyone!  Have a wonderful Wednesday!

Bring On the Fall

Today I am thankful for the change in temperature...

I am very ready to say goodbye to the warm, humid weather

and greet the crisp autumn air with a smile.

I also hope this is a record setting winter for snow.

Yep, I said it.  

There is nothing I would love more than sitting snuggled in a blanket

by our wood burning fireplace and relax.

I am hoping by the time spring peeks in on us again next year,

I will be a completely healthy, healed lady.

Bring on the fall...

xo

Cone Flower

Today I really don't feel like being thankful.

I don't feel like counting my blessings.

All I want to do is cry all day and feel sorry for myself.

As I am gathering more and more information about Lyme

and the co-infections that go with it,

(I can NOT believe with the wealth of information out there 

no one in the last two years picked up what I had...

it now seems so incredibly obvious)

I feel like I am at the base of Mt. Everest 

with no provisions, no map, no energy, or understanding

of how to climb this massive range that divides me

from the healthy life that surely awaits me on the other side.

How will I scale this impossible mountain?

And yet I know the answer...one baby step at a time...

one muscle twitching, pain inducing, headache pounding, nauseating, exhausting

baby step at a time.

There will be backslides and falls and stumbles along the way

but I will make it.

I have to keep telling myself that there is a quality of life worth doing this for

on the other side of that mountain.

Today I am thankful for something so mundane and little

that most people would laugh at being thankful for this.

I am thankful that I had the energy today to put away the laundry.

I hate when it is sitting out reminding me that I can't put it away,

that I can't muster the energy or pain-free movement to pick up laundry and put it away...

so getting that completed today made me feel less guilty about giving my body

the rest it so needs to begin the battle against these horrible bugs inside me.

xo

Friendship

Two of my dear friends made my day today and I am so grateful for both of them.

They know that I have struggled with the death of my father and also with my health

so they dropped in unannounced this morning with this

absolutely gorgeous plant to cheer me up.

Hugs were passed around, kind words were spoken, and a few tears were shed.

It is during times like these when we discover our true friends.
Not that every friend needs to deliver a plant,
but during the tough times, your true friends will step forward
and touch your heart in ways only they know you need
(sometimes even YOU don't know you need it).

This plant represents so much more than just a house decoration...
it symbolizes the bond between human hearts
and as I take care of it and see it every day,
that is what I will feel...the love in which it was given.

Thank you, friends.
Love you.
xo