Saturday, August 9, 2014

The Big Bad Wolf Inside

**Just a note...I am in no way saying these are big bad wolves...
as a matter of fact, these wolves were beautiful, albeit wild, creatures.
The Wolf Sanctuary of Pennsylvania does an amazing job at rescuing these
animals and giving them a forever home in a loving environment.
The Big Bad Wolf reference is meant only to the bugs that are living inside of me...
see below***

After two long years of absolute hell trying to figure out what 
is going on inside my own body, 
trying to find the big bad wolf that is decimating me from the inside out,
I finally have a diagnosis.
Not a wishy-washy diagnosis such as "unclassified connective tissue disorder"
but a real solid, we-can-fix-this diagnosis...Chronic Lyme Disease.

The journey has been a long, scary, painful, expensive one.
I've wanted to give up many many times
and when, about a month ago, a doctor told me that I needed to start chemo,
I walked out feeling hopeless and defeated.
The voice inside my head and my gut instinct
(the whisper of God)
told me that was not the correct direction to pursue,
so after contacting a friend who had recently been diagnosed with a mysterious illness,
I was put in contact with a new doctor who had a fresh, holistic perspective
and was willing to start back at square one with me and figure this out.
And he did.

Instead of looking at each symptom and trying to fix the symptom,
he looked at all my symptoms as a whole and tried to find a ROOT CAUSE.
Why wouldn't the other doctors listen to me when I told them
all these health issues were related and that something was causing it all?
Since I have been infected with Lyme now for years,
it has had time to wreak havoc on my immune system,
destroy my adrenal function, and cause thyroid problems.
So, with that being that,
at least now I have a clear picture of what I am fighting against.  
I have a direction and a treatment plan that gives me hope for the future.
The treatment is a long, painful one that actually may cause me to be sicker
before I can get better, but at least I know that possibly a year or two
down the line I can have my life and my health back.

And that is something to be thankful for today.
Thank you, my friend, for pointing me in the direction of this doctor.
Thank you, doctor, for your belief in me and your knowledge.
Thank you to my family for supporting me all this time.
Thank you friends, for being my shoulder to cry on.
Thank you, God, for giving me the whisper to know what direction to take.


  1. Herxing can be troublesome, but keep in your heart that it is your body expelling intruders. Despite your illness you seem very strong and your positive attitude will drive your recovery. You made my day with this post. :)

  2. So glad for you to have found that doctor. You are on the road to better health and consequently, a better life. Good for you!!


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