Tuesday, March 17, 2015

Replacing Negative with Positive

Taken and edited with iPhone 5s except the watermark

Do you have a tape inside your head that is set to repeat over and over again?  If so, what does it tell you?  I thought about this concept as I was driving to and from my real estate shoot yesterday.  I am very guilty of having negative self talk and as I get older, it is more and more apparent to me how damaging it can be.  Think about it...if you keep telling yourself you aren't good enough (or thin enough, or smart enough, etc.) over and over you are eventually going to believe it.  And then...and then it takes so, so long to undo the damage, to unhear those negative thoughts and instead replace them with the self love.

I have struggled with negative self talk for a long, long time.  I am more aware of it now that I am an older adult, but the damage has been done and it has taken a long journey for me to get better and substitute a better soundtrack into my head and life.  It took some counseling and some deep self reflection to overcome many of the teen issues I had as a result of having false beliefs about myself. Some of those thoughts were self inflicted, but some were from harsh words of adults in my life.

The reason I began thinking about all of this is because I have two teens right now.  I often wonder what the tapes inside their minds are telling them.  I hope, as a mother, I can be a positive influence in making them understand that they are humans who are growing and learning and to give themselves a break.  They are perfect beings created by God (they are not perfect in the sense they don't make mistakes, but in the sense that God doesn't create mistakes and they are created in his perfect image).  I hope that they can strike a balance of humility and self love as they develop into adults so they can avoid the struggles and mistakes I've made as an adult.

Ah, the joy of having kids and worrying about them.  I wouldn't change it for the world.  I love those 4 kids with all my being.  I just hope I am a good enough mother to release them into the world with a strong sense of self, family, and community.

I am playing along with Weekly Top Shot over at Madge's Place!  Click through to see other players!


  1. Removing the words "could" and "should" from my vocabulary and self talk vocabulary helped me in this area more than anything!! I relate to so much of this... And I truly believe that open dialogue with our kids/spouses/friends is the best way to keep the negative self talk from winning the day. I mean, I know for me that getting those thoughts out into the light are the surest way to make them run for their lives! Thanks for all of your vulnerability and creativity....I haven't commented much - I'll try to do better - but I truly love visiting your space!


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