We Are the Moon- Digital Art by Tracey Grumbach

Men are like the earth and we are the moon;

we turn always one side to them, 

and they think there is no other

because they don't see it- but there is.

-Olive Schreiner

I was in Havre de Grace, Maryland Sunday evening. I was there for a meeting of all the co-op artists of Arts By the Bay Gallery and to drop off my new work for the show that opens on Friday night. As I pulled around the corner to the side parking lot, I glanced up, toward the water, and saw the supermoon hanging just above the tree line across the Susquehanna. I knew immediately that I had to take a few minutes to walk to the water. There was a very basic, primal voice that was calling me to the edge of the shore. As I reached the lapping water on the edge of the river I was immediately sad I didn't have my Canon 5D Mark III with my 400mm lens. Oh, how I would have loved to shoot this beauty of a moon hanging so brightly, reflecting off the water, using the compression of the long lens to make that moon seem even closer. But, alas, I only had my iPhone at my disposal. I took out my phone and waited for the boat to cruise into the frame before snapping this image. 

Back at home, I used my apps and software to create this digital art piece from the original image. The original image was actually very different and didn't quite convey the feeling I wanted it to convey. I am happy with the final product and am thankful that I at least had my phone with me to capture that moment in time.

Here's to a wonderful Wednesday. Keep smiling and rocking on!

xo

Shaking Hands With the Dark Part of My Thoughts

Two days ago was a horrible day. We all have them. Truth be told, though, it almost crushed me. Days where things just pile on and pile on and pile on really challenge me. I guess it challenges everyone unless you are a complete saint. I'm not a saint. Not even close.

To start out, I haven't been feeling my best. I am not sure if I am having mold issues in the house again which is causing my sinus problems, or if I caught the virus my oldest daughter had about a week ago. Either way, for about 5 days I have been dealing with sinus pain, pressure, and headaches. So just waking up and getting going yesterday was a challenge.

Then, I had an appointment with the endodontist that did my jaw surgery in June of 2015. The teeth/jaw that he repaired had another infection and so it needed to be re-evaluated. I was praying for an easy solution to this latest jaw infection, but I came away from the appointment disappointed, frustrated, and terrified because the news was not good. The infection was back full force and once again was beginning to "eat away" at my jaw bone. The bone had not healed the way he was hoping it would and so the tooth can't be saved. He told me I would need to have the tooth extracted and have surgery on the jaw to remove the infection and implant a bone graft. Hopefully after this procedure, the infection will stay away and the bone graft will take to help regrow the bone that has been compromised from the infection. Of course, hearing this news on top of not feeling well to begin with was quite the blow.

On the way home from the appointment I stopped at a health food market to grab a few things we were out of since we got back from vacation. I went through the market quickly grabbing things I needed only to get to the cashier to realize I didn't have a credit card or cash to pay with. The night before I had given my oldest daughter my cash and card to pick up a few food essentials and both of us had forgotten to get my card back. Thank goodness I convinced the natural market to let me write a check for my purchase or I would've had to leave me entire order there.

I called my daughter after leaving the store to make sure that she still had my credit card and she told me that there was a problem at home. Apparently my youngest daughter used the bathroom and clogged up the toilet but instead of asking for help, she just flushed the toilet over and over causing a flood in our upstairs bathroom. When I got home I saw the extent of the damage, including drywall ceiling damage in our basement. I was devastated. I just couldn't take one more thing. Tears flooded my eyes and I just gave in to it. I couldn't even look at my youngest daughter because I was so angry about the damage she had done.

I cried. I called my mom. I called a friend. Then, I went into quiet mode. I realized, when I became still and quiet, that I could not start the day over, I could not control the world and all the bad things in it, but I could control my thoughts and reactions. I still had a safe home in which to live. I still had my family and friends. Yes, I had some health challenges again, but I am a fighter. I still had my sense of humor. Yes, there was some damage to the house, but that could be repaired with time.

So, I shook hands with the dark part of my thoughts, acknowledged them, and then sent them on their way, allowing the blessings and gratitude for the beautiful life I live to fill in the all the crevices in my heart and brain the dark thoughts were occupying. I can only control what I can control and the rest I need to leave up to God.

I went and found my daughter in her room, told her how disappointed I was and showed her the damage she had caused to the house. I told her what the consequences were going to be since she did something she knew was wrong. And then I hugged her. I told her although I was disappointed and angry, I still loved her and nothing she ever did could change that. And then I walked away to fix dinner and nourish my family.

So yeah, shitty days happen, in this case, literally. But overall, life is beautiful.

The Orchard

Only when the last tree has been cut down,
Only when the last river has been poisoned,
Only when the last fish has been caught,
Only then will you find that money cannot be eaten.
~Cree Indian Prophecy

Because my mood is dark, I will just leave it at this quote today. I think it speaks well enough on its own.

xo

I Am Reborn

Each night, when I go to sleep, I die.

And the next morning, when I wake up, I am reborn.

~Mahatma Gandhi

It's so refreshing to know that every day is a new day; a new opportunity to become your best self. What a blessing that we get to renew our faith, continue or change our journey, turn a new leaf, and come closer to our authentic self with each rising of the sun. Night is cleansing. Night is quiet and pure. So thankful that I am reborn each and every time my eyes close and then open again.

xo