19/365-Whiskers on Kittens

Digital Painting by Baltimore area artist Tracey Grumbach

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things

-Rodgers and Hammerstein; My Favorite Things

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What a blessing last night turned out to be. After coming home from my Harford Lyme Advocates meeting, I walked into the house to see a mini surprise birthday party waiting for me! Since Brenna is leaving to go back to school today, Brian thought I would like to celebrate my birthday a few days early with all the kids home. There was a balloon, a mum, presents, my favorite dinner, a gluten free and dairy free homemade strawberry shortcake, and best of all, my whole family. It was a wonderful celebration. Even better, we recorded the Ravens game from earlier in the day and watched it after my little party. They won! It doesn't get any better than that.

So, Brenna is headed back to regroup her life back in Florida after Irma. It should be interesting to see what she finds when she gets back. Hopefully, her car is ok and her apartment isn't too gross.  We worry about mold with that many days without electric and air conditioning. Please pray that she has an easy transition back into her life. She will return to classes at Full Sail tomorrow. 

I hope you all have a wonderful Monday.

Until tomorrow!

xo

8/365- Hotel Codorus

Digital Art by Tracey Grumbach

“I woke up as the sun was reddening; and that was the one distinct time in my life, the strangest moment of all, when I didn't know who I was - I was far away from home, haunted and tired with travel, in a cheap hotel room I'd never seen, hearing the hiss of steam outside, and the creak of the old wood of the hotel, and footsteps upstairs, and all the sad sounds, and I looked at the cracked high ceiling and really didn't know who I was for about fifteen strange seconds. I wasn't scared; I was just somebody else, some stranger, and my whole life was a haunted life, the life of a ghost.” ― Jack Kerouac, On the Road

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I was lying on my right side, eyes closed as the veil of sleep was being lifted from my body and mind. I slowly opened my eyes, disoriented and confused, staring at the gold wallpapered wall in front of me. Where was I? Where was everyone else? For those brief seconds of unclarity, I started to feel panic rise in my gut, hot and true. I was briefly in another world, another dimension where I where I was not welcome and where I didn't belong. Just as the panic reached my throat, the thump of another hotel door slamming reminded me of my location, escorting me back to here and now--to this hotel room in Orlando, Florida.

Have you ever woken up and had no idea where you were? It is a very disconcerting feeling to not know your place in the universe. I wonder if this is a bit how having amnesia feels?

Until tomorrow...

xo
 

7/365- Behind Your Silence and Suffering

Digital Art by Tracey Grumbach

“You do have a story inside you; it lies articulate and waiting to be written — behind your silence and your suffering.”  ― Anne Rice

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 What does one do when a category 5 life-threatening hurricane is bearing down on the state where you just left your 18-year-old child for college? How do you deal with the feelings of helplessness, fear, and guilt as you watch the weather models on the evening news? What do you do when you are a self-proclaimed control freak and you find yourself completely out of control of a natural disaster?

You hit your knees and pray for peace, wisdom, and safety. That, and try to prepare her the best you can from 1,000 miles away.

I'm trying to keep my anxiety in check while NOT stressing my daughter out, yet still express to her the severity of the storm and her situation.  If you are the praying kind, please add my daughter to your list as she tries to navigate this storm far from her home and family.

Until tomorrow...
xo

Baltimore County Rural Landscape- Mobile Artistry by Tracey Grumbach

Tracey Grumbach- Barn Art

I had rather be on my farm than be emperor of the world.

-George Washington 

This quote says it all...I don't have a lot of words today other than to say my daughter made it safely home from Canada last night after the trip of a lifetime. She truly was blessed to have this life experience and we are so grateful to her friend's family for inviting her along on this adventure. Brenna only has 3 more weekends here at home before moving away to college, so I'm glad to have her back to spend some quality time with her before she leaves again. 

This barn is one I admire greatly and pass frequently along my route to and from where I see my doctor and get blood work. The barn and the property are just magnificent and I would love to explore further but I don't know the owners. I am thinking about putting together a collage of all the many barns I have photographed over the years. I truly have an obsession with them!

I hope you all had a wonderful weekend and I look forward to sharing more images with you in the coming days.

Have a great Monday!

xo

Herald of Hope- Mobile Art by Baltimore Artist

About this image: Hope is a funny thing. It means something so personal to each and every person. It can be a blessing for those who need motivation to work toward a better day. It can also be a source of disappointment if you constantly hope for something better and don't stop to appreciate what you have and where you are right now in this moment. I've been working really hard this year to better improve my ability to stay in the moment; to practice mindfulness. Yoga and meditation has helped me a lot. I highly recommend it. :)

I often drive by this boarded up church and I am always fascinated by it. There is something so sad about a falling down, boarded up church. Something even sadder about it than other buildings, in my opinion. And yet the sign, the steeple, and the cross still hang proudly upon the exterior. If only we could divert our eyes upward all the time, we could miss the ugliness and sadness of earthly things.

Here are some of my favorite quotes about hope. Enjoy them and have a wonderful day. I plan on trying to leave the house for a bit today to catch some of this amazing weather we are having before snow is forecast to come in tonight.

We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.  -Martin Luther King, Jr.

Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all the darkness. -Desmond Tutu

Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.
-Helen Keller


and two of my all time favorite:

Hope is the thing with feathers-
That perches in the soul-
And sings the tune without the words-
And never stops at all.
-Emily Dickenson

Infuse your life with action. Don't wait for it to happen. Make it happen. Make your own future. Make your own hope. Make your own love. And whatever your beliefs, honor your creator, not by passively waiting for grace to come down from upon high, but by doing what you can to make grace happen...yourself, right now, right down here on Earth.  -Bradley Whitford

Hugs
xo

Winter Country Morning- Digital Art Landscape

I only went out for a walk, and finally concluded to stay out til sundown, 

for going out, I found, was really going in.

-John Muir

About this image: A discarded image back in 2010 has found its way to become today's digital art piece. Even in the dead of winter, the sunrise adds the warmest of glows to the golden brown earth, turned up to the surface by last year's autumn harvest. Accented by the red barns and green outbuilding, this image spoke to me out of the archives. I am so glad, now, that I did not delete these old images. What I believed was trash back then is turning out to be treasure to me now. Sunflare used to ruin a picture for me, but now, I honor the science behind why it happens and see the beauty in it. So interesting, how light and lenses works, don't you think?

About this quote: When I find myself needing some clarity, I always seem to migrate outdoors. Like John Muir, it brings me home, to the center of myself when I am outside, feet on the soil, face to the sun, bird song in my ear. It is where we come from and where we belong, as part of the earth. But so many of today's youth are so far out of touch with nature, preferring instead, to be surrounded by electronics, that it is causing a disruption (in my humble opinion) in the natural order of the next generation's connection to earth. There seems to be an underlying vibration of dissatisfaction and frustration within our youth, that I believe is caused somewhat by the disconnect between themselves and nature. Being surrounded by all of those EMFs, bombarded by not only the images they seen on screens, but by the unseen waves of magnetic fields in our modern world. For me, the best I can do is be a good role model for my own children and step into nature often, talking out loud about how we are connected to the earth and how it is the place to go when you need centered. I hope they follow in my footsteps and fall in love with the dirt, air, and water, that soothes me like the Mother she is.

Concord Point Lighthouse- Harford County Art

I counsel you: Look to the lighthouse of the Lord. 

There is no fog so dense, no night so dark, no gale so strong, 

no mariner so lost but what its beacon light can rescue. 

It beckons through the storms of life. 

It calls, 'This way to safety; this way to home. 

- Thomas S. Monson

The home phone rang. I picked it up expecting it to be the third telemarketer of the day, but instead I saw on the caller id that it was my husband. 

I answered, "Hello?" 

But instead of a reply all I could hear on the other end was traffic noises.

"Hello?" I said again, starting to feel an empty pit form in my stomach. Nothing...only a bit of static and traffic noises.

I hung up. Maybe it was a bad connection. I was sure he would call right back. 

As I waited for the phone to ring again, I remembered that my husband was traveling that day. He had a meeting that morning away from his office and it was just about the time his meeting would have been over and would be traveling back.

Another minute passed and just as I was getting ready to call him, my nerves rising, my cell phone rang. His cell phone caller id showed once again, but this time on my mobile phone.

"Hello?" I answered. 

Nothing. Traffic noises.

"Brian?  Are you there?  Hello?" Fear was just beginning to bud and take root in my gut. 

No answer. 

Panicked now, I hung up and decided to try to text. Something wasn't right. Why could I hear background car noises but not his voice?  

I texted..."I answered both phones but can only hear traffic noises. I can't hear you. Are you ok?"

The reply came in a short time..."My car is totaled. I need you to come pick me up." 

Stomach acid began to rise in my throat, a shot of adrenaline coursed through me as I struggled to push down the panic and think clearly. Where was he? Was he hurt? How would I get to him? Was anyone else injured? Why wasn't his phone working?

I screamed for my oldest daughter, told her what was going on and asked her to mind the twins while I left to go find Brian. I threw a pair of shoes on and ran out the door as I was calling Brian once again to try and connect with him and find out his location so I could get him. 

Hearing his voice settled my nerves a bit after the call finally connected (his cell phone was still connecting to the car bluetooth so while he could hear me, I could not hear him because he was out of the car but not far enough away to drop the bluetooth connection). But I had an hour and ten minute ride to get to him. This was a long time to drive and wonder what happened and of course, imagine all that could have happened. 

This is when I began to pray. I prayed to the Lord, handing him all my fears and worries and rested in knowing that He had this. He is in complete control and there was nothing I could do but trust in Him. My shaking settled. My stomach unclenched. I began to praise Him and thank him that Brian was not seriously injured. While it was one of the longest rides of my life, I was thankful for the complete silence in the truck (no radio, no kids, no phone) so that I could throw complete trust to God and his plan for our lives.

By the time I got to the accident scene I was completely calm. I was centered. I was ready to deal with whatever was required of me to help my husband. 

I share this story with you to remind you that even in times of turmoil and confusion, the Lord has you in the palm of his hand. Even in the midst of panic, if you can remember to seek God, calmness will overtake you. The quote above, "Look to the lighthouse of the Lord" is so true. There is nothing He can not guide you through.

I am so thankful my husband and the other driver were safe and uninjured despite a horrific accident with massive vehicle damage to both cars. Neither one of the drivers had a scratch or a bruise on them. It was a miracle and no one can tell me it wasn't. I believe in angels and I believe in the power of putting all your worries in the hands of God. 

xo 

Sunset over the Corn

Hope is the thing with feathers-

That perches in the soul-

And sings the tune without the words-

And never stops-at all.

-Emily Dickinson

Happy Friday, y'all.  My wish for you is a Friday full of joy, hope and happiness despite the noise and chaos surrounding you. Let the hope perched inside your soul take flight.

xo

The Cage Without a Key

The fog is like a cage without a key.

Elizabeth Wurtzel

I haven't felt much like writing lately...so I will let the quotes and my creations speak for themselves. 

xo

Trespass

Yes, the house must be inhabited, and we will see by whom; 

for imagination is a licensed trespasser; 

it has no fear of dogs, 

but may climb over walls and peep in at windows with impunity.

George Eliot

Yesterday I wrtote a little update about what has been happening over here and I mentioned that I've been scrounging around on Ancestry.com again, digging up secrets about my family. For some reason I am completely fascinated with the stories of my family's past and when I find crime, intrigue, lost love, lies, and buried secrets, it makes the time and effort of digging worth it. 

So, during my research I came across a plea from a woman looking for her husband's paternal family. Apparently, her husband's father left his mother before he was born and never had any contact with him again. She had limited information about her husband's father, but the name caught my eye as being similar to a great-uncle that I didn't know very well but adored nonetheless. I didn't know him very well because he lived across the country in Oregon and so growing up I only saw him a few times. When I was around him, I remember always being in awe because I truly viewed him as a real-life cowboy. He was tall, wide, an imposing figure physically (to my young girl's mind), who always wore cowboy boots and a wide leather belt with a large belt buckle. Despite his hulking appearance, he was always kind, gentle, and in good spirits with me. In my mind he was a man of myth...a hero in a wild west novel. 

Intrigued with this message from 2008, I started digging through Ancestry.com's records to see what I could find and piece together about this uncle I knew more in my child's imagination than in real life and wow...I was shocked at what I found. Apparently, this great uncle had quite a troubled past starting at an early age. The first clue I found was a 1946 arrest record and mugshot from New Mexico when he was just 16 years old. He had "taken a car without permission," according to the charging document, and plead guilty. The interesting part was he gave a fake birthday, perhaps to conceal the fact that he was only 16 at the time, to make it seem as if he were 18. I imagine he didn't want to be sent home as a minor to his mom and dad so he made it seem as if he were of legal age. What I couldn't get over was what in the world a 16 year old from West Virginia was doing in New Mexico at that age, half way across the country from his family? He was sentenced to a year in the penitentiary, but I have no idea how long he actually served.

After finding this document, I contacted my mother to ask what she remembered about this uncle of hers. She didn't know a lot of details about his life, but did remember there were many myths and stories floating around about his past. I collected some information from her and other family members who knew him and the stories just got crazier and more interesting.  bigamy...many kids left behind...FBI investigations...arrest...hiding from the law... etc. Wow. 

I am still researching to see if I can find any more proof of his scoundrel days and also to see if indeed my great uncle might perhaps be the father of this woman's husband. Many of the details of his story match dates, times, and locations of my great uncle's escapades, so the chance of this being one of his kids left behind might be true. 

Sometimes when I research my ancestry, I swear I am from a long line of criminals, scoundrels, and trouble makers...from BOTH sides of my family. It sure does make for interesting research!

Have a wonderful Wednesday.  

Amish Winter Sunday

Regrets over yesterday and the fear of tomorrow are twin thieves that rob us of the moment.

~Amish Proverb

Suzanne Woods Fisher

Amish Proverbs: Words of Wisdom from the Simple Life 

Have a beautiful Thursday. xo

The Orchard

Only when the last tree has been cut down,
Only when the last river has been poisoned,
Only when the last fish has been caught,
Only then will you find that money cannot be eaten.
~Cree Indian Prophecy

Because my mood is dark, I will just leave it at this quote today. I think it speaks well enough on its own.

xo

Disrepair

The fault-finder will find faults even in paradise. Love your life, poor as it is. 

You may perhaps have some pleasant, thrilling, glorious hours, even in a poor-house. 

The setting sun is reflected from the windows of the alms-house as brightly as from the rich man's abode; the snow melts before its door as early in the spring. 

I do not see but a quiet mind may live as contentedly there, 

and have as cheering thoughts, as in a palace.

~Henry David Thoreau

I absolutely love this quote. It is so true and you must admit we all know at least one person who finds fault with everything. We all do.  Right?

This piece of digital art is based off of a farm near where I live. Since I have been here...going on 12 years, I have only known this farm to be in disrepair and falling down. But soemthing about it still draws me in. I know, I am weird, but as I said before, moody landscapes and old buildings just intrigue me. A mixture of photograph, digital painting, textures, and stamps, this digital mixed media piece is a favorite of mine. 

Don't be a fault-finder...instead see the beautiful setting sun reflecting just as brightly from the windows of the alms-house. xo

For the Inactive Windmills

For the inactive windmills, even the winds from the bird wings is a hope.

~Mehmet Murat Ildan

Hope:

1.  to cherish a desire with anticipation

2.  to desire with expectation of obtainment

3.  to expect with confidence

For such a small word, it holds not only the world on its shoulders, but also the slow burning glimmer that lives inside each soul. Four letters spells out such a broad, sweeping concept. 

Even the winds from the bird wings is a hope...

Keep hoping because as long as hope is alive, so are we.

xo

P.S. Here's to hoping we get some snow soon, y'all.  You know I love the white stuff.

If Your Daily Life Seems Poor

If your daily life seems poor, do not blame it; 

blame yourself that you are not poet enough to call forth its riches...

~Rainer Maria Rilke

I absolutely love the travels my job takes me on. I love to be in my truck, traveling to a new location, taking in all the scenery around me while tracking down my destination like a hound on a rabbit scent. For some reason, I have always been attracted to moody landscapes and dilapidated buildings, even as a young child. I've always held an eerie fascination for them that I've never been able to quite explain. I am always on the lookout for such landscapes...it calls to my soul. 

If only I could stop and interview these places, this land, this building. What have you seen in your lifetime? What blood has been spilled here? What love has sprouted and multiplied here? Spill out your stories to me.

I've been on a landscape kick for a while now and I plan on following this recent calling, especially in this dreary winter landscape which creates in me a moody, emotion filled response. I hope you enjoy this series and will look forward to seeing more in the short future. 

xo

This Is A People Shooting Hat

"This is a people shooting hat," I said.  "I shoot people in this hat."

~Holden in The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger

My first piece in 2016, This Is A People Shooting Hat, was inspired by the book The Catcher In the Rye by J.D. Salinger. As a teen, I read the book in high school and always held it to be one of my favorite books of all time. Over time, my memory of the plot details has faded so, not only did I need a refresher of the story line and also I wanted a fresh perspective of the literary themes by reading it as an adult.

I just finished reading the book The Enchanted Life of Adam Hope (Book 1 of my 20 book goal I set for myself in 2016) and my junior-in-high-school daughter was getting ready to start reading Catcher for a literary analysis paper. I thought it was the perfect opportunity to reread the book and share my thoughts with my daughter as we read it together. In Chapter 3 the main character, Holden, has a verbal exchange with one of his classmates about his red hunting hat that he wears. During that exchange, he says the quote above, and it struck a chord with me. Many who have not read the book may take offense to this quote considering all the shootings that have occurred in this country of late, but this quote should not be taken at face value. Holden never shoots anyone in the book and it is merely a glimpse into the cynical mind of a young man who is struggling on the edge of manhood, trying to negotiate becoming mature and independent while still retaining the truthfulness he perceives that comes with youth.  To grow up or not to grow up, that is the question.

While Holden never physically shoots anyone, he does "shoot" them with the internal dialog in his brian. He can't stand grown-ups and his disdain for them is quite apparent throughout the book. I was inspired on many symbolic levels to create an image that portrays his internal struggle between youth and manhood.  See if you can find the symbolism and the visual irony I have at play here.

I hope you enjoy This Is a People Shooting Hat and if you haven't read this incredible novel, I suggest you do. Watching my daughter analyze it in context of the political, social, and artistic climate of the time, is both exciting and inspiring. I am glad I have the opportunity to reread one of my favorites while sharing it with my daughter.

Hugs.  xo

Tattooed

Our bodies were printed as blank pages

to be filled with the ink of our hearts.

~Michael Biondi

Passage Into Self Awareness

Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing.

~August Wilson

Red Rock Canyon, Nevada

Everybody needs beauty as well as bread,

places to play in and pray in where nature

may heal and give strength to body and soul.

~John Muir

If you don't die of thirst, there are blessings in the desert.

You can be pulled into limitlessness, which we all yearn for,

or you can do the beauty of minutiae, the scrimshaw of tiny and precise.

The sky is your ocean, and the crystal silence will uplift you

like great gospel music or Neil Young.

~Anne Lamott

I had to live in the desert before I could understand 

the full value of grass in a green ditch.

~Ella Maillart

I'd had no particular interest in the Southwest at all 

as a young girl, and I was completely surprised 

that the desert stole my heart to the extent that it did.

~Terri Windling

Now Autumn's Fire Burns

Digital Painting from the iPhone photo below.

Now Autumn's fire burns slowly along the woods and day by day the dead leaves fall and melt.

~Elizabeth Bowen

iPhone photo taken in Parkton, Maryland on October 7, 2015

Sending joy and hoping each one of you is able to enjoy Autumn's fire.  xo