Digging Through the Rubble

Rubble. Trash. Junk. Debris. Refuse. Waste. Litter.

We have lots of it around here.  There are piles and piles of debris from the construction happening at my home.  We all have junk, don't we?  Layers and layers of rubble that not only fill our homes (or yards or offices), but also refuse in our minds and hearts.  All of those things we can't let go?  Trash. All of those negative thoughts...wreckage.  All of those hurts that haven't healed...a minefield of garbage.  The accumulation of those wounds and emotional sores pile up just like the stinking, decaying garbage at the dump.

In an effort to clean up prior to hosting my son's graduation party here, we worked as a family cleaning up and loading a dumpster with construction refuse to be hauled away prior to the celebration. Doing this monotonous work (pick up trash, throw it in the dumpster, pick up trash, throw it in the dumpster) started me thinking about this past year and how tough it has been...my diagnosis with Lyme, my father's death, having to quite a job I loved, and so many other hurtful events.  As I picked through the layers of rotting wood, broken boards, twisted metal, and bent nails I began feeling like I was peeling back the layers of trash from this past year in my heart.

And then, the funniest thing happened.  I lifted a board and found the cutest toad.  Yep, a warty, round, fat greenish-brown blob of animal energy hiding there beneath all of those scraps.  It was like finding a treasure.  I stopped and showed my twins what I found and they were delighted.  We carried him/her (how DO you tell the difference between a male and female toad?) to a safe place and let him/her go.  I left the kids there to observe the toad and I went back to digging, lifting, throwing, and digging some more.

And guess what?  I found a second toad.  After much screeching of joy and delight now that Toad 1 had a friend, it dawned on me.  This peeling back of the onion-like layers of trash was helping peel back all the hurts of this past year.  If we keep on keeping on and look for the positive, the treasures in the pile of trash, we will find them.

Cleaning the yard was very cathartic for me.  Healing even.  Purifying.  Lifting the trash in my heart and throwing it out along with the construction litter became a soulful, thoughtful process and by the time I was finished, I felt lighter.  Tired, but lighter.

xo

P.S.  That Gatorade bottle was from one of the workers, not my family.  I don't allow them to drink that chemical ridden mess of a liquid.