Friday, August 28, 2015

Finding Your Tribe

It is interesting, after going through major life changes, how sometimes people fall out of your life when your priorities, beliefs, and circumstances are altered. Friends you once had, you might not have much in common with anymore and therefore, fall away like the last light of dusk...softly and almost unnoticeably. One day you look back and realize that you have slipped away from each other not for lack of caring, but for lack of commonality. It is supposed to work this way, in my opinion, because there needs to be room in your life for others to enter, to either bless you or teach you lessons.

When we chose to foster and adopt twin toddlers back in 2010, I noticed a shift in friendships. We were thrown back into the stage of diapers, potty training, babysitters, and the like, virtually overnight. It was a huge earthquake in our life, a mammoth change that shook our world upside down, albeit in a wonderful way. Friends fell away then...not because they did not love us or the twins, but suddenly we were in a totally separate stage of life than them. But, we gained different friends through meeting other foster/adoptive parents and parents of kids the twins' ages.

When I became very ill with Late Disseminated Lyme Disease, the same thing happened. Because I was bedridden for months, unable to socialize and not very exciting to hang out with, friends fell away then as well. But, I gained friends yet again, who could relate to chronic illness and the catastrophic effect it has on patients and their families. Friendships bloomed out of a common fight for health and wellness. I'm thankful every day for those people and their understanding.

Then we decided to homeschool. So far we haven't lost any friends, but already I have begun to see the young buds of friendship forming with other moms who are in my shoes. I had the wonderful opportunity to meet with a homeschool group today and I immediately felt at home and understood by a handful of ladies. During a time in my life where friendships will yet again shift, it was good to see the beginning stages of finding my tribe unfolding in front of me today.

And of course, I am most thankful for the wonderful friends who have never left my side. The ones who have cried with me when my father died; the ones who brought dinner when I couldn't feed my family because I was so sick; the ones who cheered when I said I was going to homeschool...they are the golden nuggets shining brightly in my sometimes difficult life. They are my heart.

To all friendships...old and new!  xo

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