Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Mind Full Ness

Mind Full Ness

As I am typing I am sitting on the top deck of our vacation rental listening to the sound of crashing waves directly in front of me. The view is breathtaking and the salty air on my skin and lips is dewy and feels fresh instead of heavy. There aren't many gulls around so the sound of birds is minimal but the laughter and screeching of children is plentiful. The smell of the ocean, you know that distinct smell, don't you; mixes occasionally with a whiff of pungent bait fish blowing over in the breeze from the fishing pier just beyond the deck to my far left. The fishermen/women are not catching much this morning. The fish seem to be winning.

The tide is high, the sandpipers are running from the advancing waterline as each wave moves onto shore, searching the air holes created by the ghost crabs for their next meal. Sandcastles that were built at an earlier time are now slowly being eaten by the hungry waves. Surfers wait just beyond the breaking point waiting for the perfect wave to carry them to shore. A few are solo, but many swarm in groups, just watching and waiting. The athletic types are jogging with their dogs, earphones plugged into their ears, rhythmically making their way down the shoreline. I often wonder where they go...some I see on his/her return trip back to where he/she started, but others I never see again...where do they go?

I look inward to my own body...I feel relaxed, heart rhythm steady and slow, but I fell a tightness in my chest. I noticed an increase in Lyme/Bartonella related air hunger this morning when I woke and climbed the stairs to the top level of the home. Perhaps the humid air makes it more difficult for air exchange. Either way, the result is a restriction in my lungs that is noticeable. The light from the hot sun is making me squint at the computer screen as my fingers fly across the keyboard. Sunglasses are in order, but then the polarization blacks out the screen and I can't see what I am typing. I'll get up and get them when I'm finished. Besides my lungs, everything else including my muscles feel soft and relaxed, no sign of tension hiding in my shoulders or neck. It's so nice to be relaxed and not worrying about all the things that need to be accomplished in the next few weeks.

Dang.  Now that I typed that, all I can think about is the list looming large for me when I get home. It is all good things, but not what I want to think about while on vacation. I've acknowledged the tightness in my stomach caused by that thought and have released it. Plenty of time later to worry about all of that. For now, back to my mindfulness of the being here and present in this moment. I'm signing off for now, going to take a few minutes while my children are occupied, to close my eyes and pay attention to my breathing, the rhythm of my own body. Meditation. Mindfulness. Thankfulness. Thank you, God, for this beautiful day. May all of you have beauty in your day. Seek it and you will find it.


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