Thursday, August 14, 2014

In My Children's Eyes

I often wonder how my kids see me.
Wouldn't it be interesting to step into their mind
for just a little while and view yourself from their perspective?
I bet it would be eye opening and totally change how I see myself.
Maybe one day I will do a journaling exercise where I will 
write a description of myself from the point of view of each of my kids...
and then show it to them to see how accurate it is.
Could be interesting.

I used to worry about what other people think of me,
but these recent life-changing events, 
(the loss of my father and my health)
has made me realize I really don't give a damn what "others" think of me.
All I care about is what my family and closest friends
think about my character and my heart.
Sitting through my father's service two months ago
I began to think about what kind of person I want to be remembered as.
What would my eulogy be?
What legacy would I leave behind?
What ripple of kindness would I leave in this world?

The other thing I realized recently is 
how important it is for me to be in more pictures.
I used to avoid pictures of myself at all costs,
but when I lost my father, I realized how prized those pictures of my father are to me.
Why would I deny my children the same comfort when I pass to the next life?
It is also important to show my kids, especially my girls,
that it is important to love yourself and be ok with your flaws.
As I get older and realize the outside isn't as beautiful as the inside,
I have become less vain about how a picture of me looks.'s me and I need to love this body of mine...
I took it for granted until the past two years when my systems started to fail due to lyme.
NOW I realize just how precious and beautiful this body is.
I will celebrate it with pictures because damn it, I am beautiful.

Today I am thankful for this little step in falling in love with myself.
I now, more than ever, respect this amaizing body and 
the miraculous way in which in functions.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Thank you for taking the time to comment! I always try to respond to comments via email, so please be sure you add your email to your profile. Thanks!