Friday, April 17, 2015

Ticking Bomb

The sun may never rise again
The question ain't if but when
The sea will boil and the sky will fall
The sun may never rise again.

The silent war has begun
We're staring down a loaded gun
No refuge found on solid ground
This human race can't be won.

The whole world's sitting on a ticking bomb.
The whole world's sitting on a ticking bomb.
So keep your calm and carry on.
The whole world's sitting on a ticking bomb.

And it's about to explode! 

Ticking Bomb, Aloe Blacc

Some days, Lyme patients feel this way.  Some days it just feels like your whole world is one gigantic ticking bomb ready to blow.  When the searing pain is pulsing through every cell of your body and your hair is falling out in droves and you pop another handful of medicine and vitamins in your mouth and you are so exhausted the idea of getting out of bed just to use the bathroom strikes fear in your heart, you for sure feel like you are looking down the barrel of a loaded gun.

Some days the only refuge is sleep.  Only sleep is not always restful for Lyme patients.  It is fitful and filled with strange dreams and when you wake you feel as if ran a marathon.  But at least you were free of the consciousness of pain for that brief time you lived outside of your body.  Some days it is all you can do to hang on another day, to remind yourself again that this is a long battle but that you will win.  You see, some days Lyme is a nasty magician...letting you feel better for weeks and then pulling the rug out from under you and you feel like you are starting over again.  So tiring.  So deflating. 

This one is for all the other Lyme patients out there who fight every day, not only the disease, but also the mental stamina it takes to be fooled over and over again into believing this time I am better.  This time I will continue to stay well.  This time I've killed off those nasty invaders.  This time is the last time I will herx or feel like I've been hit by a truck.  This time, this time, this time

So, to all of you out there fighting chronic illness, hang in there.  There are people who know how you feel.  You are the courageous ones.  Your silent battle is not unnoticed by all.  Keeping fighting, keep getting up, keep moving, keep on keeping on.  Stay calm and carry on, even if you are sitting on a ticking bomb.

**Because so many liked when I showed how I create these digital collage paintings, later today on Nine Acres Designs on Facebook I will post the original vintage photograph that I started with for this piece.  I might even show a few steps I saved along the way, we'll see.  Have a wonderful weekend, everyone, and I will see you on the other side.

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