Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Better Keep Yourself Clean and Bright

Better keep yourself clean and bright; 
you are the window through which you must see the world. 
~George Bernard Shaw

Someone asked me the other day how I can stay so positive when I am in the midst of so much pain and confusion caused by Lyme. The question took me off guard because in general I am a very positive person, but not a very patient one (with myself). I guess the answer is I truly, deep down in my heart and fibers of my soul, believe that whatever you send out into the world you get back. If I am moping around grumpy all the time, how could I expect to have a beautiful day? I'd get on my own nerves, much less all the other people I love and care about. It's not something I have to think about most of the time, I am just happy.

There are dark days, though. Don't let me kid you about that. There are days when I am angry, sad, feel sorry for myself, don't see the light, and want to quit. On days like that I tend to be snappy and curt; short and impatient with everything around me. Those days I feel like I am living in someone else's body, watching myself from afar and I don't recognize myself. When I find myself lost in the dark hole of despair what brings me around is usually two things...sleep and my kids. I find a high correlation between lack of sufficient sleep and a hopeless feeling. So, with a good catch up on sleep, some rest, and looking in my children's faces, I am often rescued from my own darkness. 

Besides, everyone has problems, not just me. My problems are no worse or no better than everyone else's, mine are just different. My friend said the other day that she didn't like complaining about her health to me because I have it so much worse. Truthfully, I don't see it that way. I don't compare my health issues with anyone else's and never think, "Oh, I have it so much worse than you." I don't pity myself nor do I ever wish this disease was someone else's. Everyone single one of us has a burden to carry and this is mine and I am ok with that. I wouldn't want anyone else to carry it...ever.  Which is why I am speaking out about it and trying to educate everyone about the early signs of Lyme, the alternative options of testing, and clearing up misconceptions like the one I ran into last night.  

I was eating dinner with my daughter when a waiter asked me if I had celiac because I could not eat gluten. I replied that I did not have celiac, but that I do have Lyme which causes me to have a strict diet to control inflammation in the body, therefore I can not have dairy, gluten, or alcohol. His reply was to ask if that was the "disease where once you take the tick off your body you get better?"  It is shocking to me that people who live in an epidemic area such as this still don't know anything about the disease. I want to correct that so people don't have to suffer in pain and fear for years like I did. Of course, 14 months ago I had no idea about this disease and I lived here all of my life, so I guess that should be a clue that education is of paramount need. 

On another note, I have been on a creative manic this week and have more digital art to share!  Tons of ideas are flowing...now if I could only add 12 hours to the day.  


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