Leap of Faith

I don't like constantly talking about my illness

because it is not who I am and it does not define me.

With that being said, the reason I do talk about it publicly is

because if I can help one person or make one person

feel as if he/she is not alone in this battle, 

then talking about it is worth it.

Today I am thankful that my family and I have been able to raise awareness

about the dangers of tick-born illnesses to people we know and care about.

My husband had a call from a tearful client today 

and she expressed gratitude that he had saved her life.

 

This particular client always asks about me and the kids when she calls my husband,

so he had told her about the struggle we have been going through with my illness.

Turns out she was bitten by a tick over the weekend and didn't think much about it

until the next day when she noticed a bruise developing around the bite site.

She remembered what my husband had told her about my illness and about 

tick-born illnesses in general and she got an uneasy feeling about her own tick bite.

She sought medical advice and it turns out she did indeed have a dangerous tick-born illness...

Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever.

That trip to the doctor for early diagnosis very well may have saved her life.

She is being treated for the illness and is expected to make a full recovery.

In every dark time, there is light that shines.

All of us can use our own stories and experience to connect with and help others,

whatever that story may be.

Our common experiences connect us as humans and if that means 

giving up my prideful ways to talk about this disease in order to possibly help others,

then so be it.

Many have been asking me to discuss more about my experience with Chronic Lyme 

and I have agreed to do that, but I don't want it to be the focus of the blog.

So, I've added a tab at the top where I will add some information little by little

in hopes that it may help others.

This picture was taken at the bus stop with the twins. 

Each of them found a rock and using their imagination,

played hopscotch on a non-existing hopscotch grid.

Ahhhh...to be in first grade again with unlimited enthusiasm, energy, and imagination.

I love those kids.

xo

Exiting Starbucks

Today I am thankful that I have created my first book from all my blog posts.

I finished creating it, uploading it, and sending it off to be printed.

I never ever want to lose pictures or memories again,

so this is a first step in providing something concrete and lasting 

for myself and hopefully my kids to keep for when I am gone.

They will have my pictures and my thoughts in book form.

I have even considered going back to my old blogs and doing the same for them.

That is a HUGE undertaking, though, so we'll see...

I'm not much for huge undertakings lately, lol.

The above picture was taken as I was waiting on a bench outside a Starbucks.

I was intrigued by the people rushing in and out starting their day with 

their dose of wakefulness in the form of coffee.

I have been following more and more street photographers on Instagram lately,

and wish I could get out more to do this kind of shooting.

One day. 

xo

The Waiting Room

I find it interesting how the world has changed in just the span of time

since my oldest children were youngins and now,

when my little ones are youngins.

Years ago I used to bring my oldest daughter here, to a local recreation center,

for gymnastics training and I spent hours in this waiting room outside the gym.

Back in 2004, even though technology was advanced even then,

the mothers would all sit and chat while our kids were occupied in class.

Now, whenever I find myself in a waiting room,

whether it is a doctor, sports center, etc.,

I find that even if the people aren't on electronics, 

there is a distinct quiet "ignoring" of others...

We seem to find ways to occupy ourselves instead of interacting with others

and socializing with our peers.

This is what our kids see too...it is no wonder they don't know how to interact with each other

if the adults can't and won't do it!

I am sure there is a social experiment somewhere in there,

but I am not the one to do it.

I just found it striking that in two weeks since I have been taking the twins

to their summer gymnastics class, not one mother, that I have seen,

has turned to another and introduced themselves.

Perhaps I will take the lead and do that today,

although that is way out of my comfort zone.

Today I am thankful for the lunch I had with a dear friend and colleague yesterday.

Nothing brightens a day like connecting with a friend over a meal

and feeling the camaraderie of a shared experience.

I am looking forward to connecting with a different friend tomorrow for coffee.

These ladies have a special place in my heart and I am always appreciative of the time

I get to spend with them!

xo

Unlawful Loitering In Pigtown

As Seen in Pigtown, Baltimore

I love the city.

Kind of.

It scares me, fascinates me, draws me in, and pushes me away all at the same time.

I wish I could spend every day there just walking around and photographing 

the sites and people in their natural environment and then 

return home to the country each evening where I feel grounded.

When I go into the city, I feel electric with excitement...

all the visual stimulus of what it has to offer.

I find the people immensely interesting

and I wish I had the guts to approach them without fear.

This is where I think if I were a guy I would feel much safer

walking around with my camera;

it is the only time I feel my gender holds me back from doing what I want to do.

Actually, it isn't my gender that holds me back with fear,

it is my own sense of vulnerability I feel walking in the city streets alone

as a woman that scares me.

It makes me sad, because I would love to feel comfortable in the city.

Growing up in the suburbs it was pounded into me that the city is a dangerous,

mean place where horrible things happen...especially in "those" neighborhoods

and especially in Baltimore.

I have never really gotten over that childhood fear

and I wish I could.

I took this image as a passenger in a car while driving through Pigtown

using my iPhone...with the window up, lol.

I had never been in this part of the city before.

I didn't even know why they called it "Pigtown"

until I came home and googled it.

I guessed why when I saw the large brick buildings, the train tracks, and the 

Pigtown signs that showed a pig diagram with butcher marks on it,

but I didn't know for sure until I read the Wikepedia article about it.

I was happy to see my deduction was correct...this is where the pigs

were unloaded from the trains to be walked 

through the streets to the butchering shops.

Today I am thankful for the time I spent with family yesterday

eating Maryland crabs and teaching my little ones how to pick their own crabs.

I do love Maryland for all the diversity it offers...

the city, the country, and of course, Maryland Crabs covered in Old Bay.

xo

Proud Piper

Garrett Highlands Pipes and Drums at the Accident, Maryland Fourth of July Homecoming Parade

I finished the book

Orange is the New Black by Piper Kerman today

and also read the book Humans of New York by Brandon Stanton.

The first is a memoir set in a woman's prison.
The second is a photo book created from the popular blog by the same name.

My favorite quote from Humans of New York is:

"Why do so many people seem to love righteous indignation?"

"Because if you prove you're a victim, all rules are off.  
You can lash out at people.  You don't have to be accountable for anything."

Ah, yes...the righteous indignation crowd...gotta love them.

Today I am thankful for good books.

On days like today, it is good to be whisked away from your own reality

and into the world created by a good book.

Next up on my reading list...Orphan Train by Christina Baker Kline.

You can keep up with my collection of quotes and the books I've read,

if you are so inclined, using the tabs at the top of the blog.

xo

Lake Splash at Dusk

Today I am thankful that my family is safe 

after the terrible storms that descended upon us fast and furious last night.

I am so saddened by the news that a child was killed

and more were injured at the camp in Manchester.

It hits home as my son has attended that same camp 

several years ago and it is

a parent's worst nightmare when putting the health and safety

of your children in the hands of someone else.

My prayers are with the families and friends of those children.

The pain they are in is unimaginable, I am sure.

This image is my youngest daughter splashing in 

Deep Creek Lake right at dusk.

All of my kids loved having direct access 

to swimming in the lake directly from our rental.

They took full advantage by swimming first thing in the morning

and last thing at night.

I am so glad they will have these sweet memories of that trip

despite the loss we felt at not having my extended family there

due to my father's passing.

This is what life is about for me...sharing experiences 

and building memories with my family and my kids.

xo

I am playing along with Black and White Wednesday
here.

Salute

This image was taken along the parade route of Accident, Maryland's 

Fourth of July Homecoming Parade on July 4th, 2014.

As this gentleman was riding by in the back of the pick-up truck,

he clung to the flag and was waving to everyone.

When he saw me and my camera, 

he looked straight at me and saluted.

*chills*

Today I am thankful to try and get back into the work groove

(I have several real estate shoots this week)

and try to get the kids back on some sort of schedule.

I am a regimented person, so being on a schedule again 

after the craziness that June delivered me

is a blessing.

After work today, perhaps I will play with the kids with water cannons.

It sure is hot enough for it!

xo

Honor

Taken at the Accident, Maryland Fourth of July Homecoming Parade 2014

I am thankful for our safe passage back home today.

It was a nice, relaxing vacation with superb weather in Deep Creek, 

so I couldn't really ask for more.

The drive was easy with no complications,

and on a holiday weekend, that is just perfect.

I enjoyed taking pictures at the local Fourth of July parade

in Accident, Maryland and when this group of distinguished men marched by

it made the hairs my arms stand up.

I am so thankful for all of our veterans

and the sacrifices they make for us and our country.

Not sure what is up with blogger and how it is handling pictures,

but I'm not happy at all.

Grrrr.  

I will have to find a solution for a better blogging platform or photo service.

Anyone with advice is welcome to send me an email or leave a comment.

xo

Babiness

Today I am thankful for the time spent babysitting this beautiful angel.

My friend delivered this perfect baby girl

one month ago and I had forgotten

just how delicious a newborn could be.

Even though she slept ninety-five percent of the time

I was with her, I enjoyed every minute of it.

The sweet noises, the jerky movements, the clean fresh smell,

the little lips pursing into the shape of an O.

A smorgasbord of sensory babiness!

And the little wrinkles in that little arm...

*sigh*

So, so delightful.

Sometimes it is the most primitive simple part of being human

that bring us the most joy.

xo

Refreshment

Spectators at Susquehanna Race Track

I am posting from Virginia today while I am visiting my mom.

Today I am thankful that the 5 hour commute here

was safe and fairly painless yesterday.

I had the twins in the truck with me and they were great.

I was a bit tired of listening to kindergarten books on CD

by about the 2nd hour, but it kept them quiet

and it was educational.

So, there's that.

 

Today promises to be jam packed with 

refrigerator repair (my mom's refrigerator blew up last night), 

visits to government agencies (I'm not sure social security knows it's head from it's arse), 

shopping for light bulbs (why must they all blow out at the same time?),

 mattress deliveries (Really...sometime between 9AM and 5PM?), 

and the like.

But you know what?

I'm with my mom, and that I am thankful for.

xo

En Plein Air

I so enjoyed my walk at the Irvine Nature Center today.

I woke up in a horrible, sad, crying mood and I knew I couldn't stay indoors.

Moping around feeling sorry for myself is no good,

especially on a gorgeous summer day like today.

So, with lunch packed, I headed out to explore.

In the children's outdoor learning classroom at the Center,

I found this plein air painter and stood watching him for a while.

I really do wish I was talented like that.

I could so see me being outdoors and painting beautiful scenery

with the sun on my back and my paints surrounding me.

Only one little problem is holding me back...

I have no idea how to paint.

None.  Zero.  Zilch.

Maybe one day.

On the way back home I stopped to visit my 

maternal grandmother's grave.  

I have only been there once before and since I had to

drive right past the Maryland State Veterans Cemetery,

I decided to stop and visit.

It was good to see it so well taken care of.

xo

Inked

Today I am thankful for becoming more adept at recognizing my own prejudices 

and assumptions about people.

For example, when I saw this man at a race, I felt myself immediately 

get tense and begin to judge him as a mean, scary person.

Why?

I don't know him from anyone else and yet

I could feel my stomach clench and my eyes divert

(prior to taking the picture, of course),

not wanting to make eye contact with him.

And then I stopped myself and thought.

Why am I feeling this way?

I took a look at his shaved head, his tattoos, 

his baggy jeans, and his five o'clock shadow

and assumed he must be harsh and mean.

Was that fair?

No.

Was it necessarily true?

No.

The other day I read a friend's status update on Facebook

and it described a sad interaction with another mom.

My friend, we will call her C, has tattoos and (perhaps some piercings).

 She discovered that the reason 

her daughter's friend couldn't come over to their house to play

is because the friend's mother didn't like the way C looked 

and clearly made a judgement about her parenting/house/lifestyle,

without ever even truly meeting and talking with C.

I was heartbroken for not only C but for her daughter

and the daughter's friend.

Everyone was being affected by the friend's mother's prejudgement.

When I read that status update, I thought,

I would NEVER do that!

I would never deny my kids a friend just because of how 

the parents look before getting to know them personally!

But would I?

Aren't I just as guilty sitting in my stadium seat 

judging this man as he walks by because of the way he looks?

Yes, I am just as guilty.

And when I realized it, I felt ashamed and remorseful that I even 

thought this man was a horrible person without even exchanging 

one word with him.

But all things have a silver lining and my silver lining is

that it made me realize just how often I judge people

by appearances.

I think it is human nature to do so,

so I don't beat myself up over doing it.

But what I do want to do, and will practice in the future,

 is catching myself when I start with that train of thought and STOP myself.

I want to STOP that automatic assumption,

take a step back,

and begin to get to know people before I make a judgement of their character.

It is more difficult than it sounds

but worth the effort in the long run.

xo