One Way

One Way Down Up

When life is bringing you down, utilize all means possible to lift yourself back up.

~Me

Sometimes the heavy burdens of life cloud your vision and bring you down. It is imperative that you reach inward and find a way to lift yourself back up, fighting the gravity of everyday life...the news, mean people, and the general burdens of being human. Find your own balloons...friends, art, music, reading, nature, and use them to negate the "one way down" feeling of everyday life. Invest time and energy into your own well being. If you don't, no one else will.

This has been a public service announcement by yours truly. ;)
Hope you all are taking care of yourselves in the aftermath of this historic blizzard. Sending love to everyone.

xo

A Tournament of Lies

A tournament, a tournament, a tournament of lies

Offer me solutions, offer me alternatives

And I decline.

It's the end of the world as we know it

It's the end of the world as we know it (It's time I had some time alone)

It's the end of the world as we know it

And I feel fine.

R.E.M

It's the End of the World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)

Created partially from collage software and partially in Photoshop CS 6 after watching the news and realizing once again why it is I only watch it maybe once a month. Truly, it feels like I don't recognize the world I am living in with all the hate and destruction swirling around us on a daily basis. 

Civil unrest. ISIS. Politics. Mass killings. Refugees...it goes on and on and on. 

I turn it off.  I turn it all off and risk being ignorant to the world's issues. I am choosing to stick my head in the sand just for a moment of sanity. No wonder the stress level in our country is palatable. It is all bubbling beneath the surface, rising over and simmering, threatening to explode as all of the media outlets spoon feed us the bitter taste of hate. When it does boil over...it will be the end of the world as we know it...and I don't think I will feel fine. 

Going back to my happy place, now.

Cafe´ Indulgence

This is the one of two things that I miss the most since on my lifestyle change to heal from Lyme and co-infections...cappuccino!  The no sugar, no caffeine, and no dairy is killing me when it comes to mornings.  I truly did LOVE having my cappuccino in the morning, not just for the pick me up of caffeine, but also for the smooth, creamy texture of it.  That is something I can't quite replace with alternative milks.  The other thing I miss is real pizza, smothered in melted cheese!  Non-dairy cheese?  No thanks.

I'm not complaining though...just dreaming when I can put that cappuccino back in my diet.  July 9th will be eleven months of treatment and I am so much better than I was a year ago.  So, I am very blessed and letting go of cappuccino is all worth it. It doesn't mean, though, that I can't use my yearning for one as inspiration to create a collage,! ;)

Today is the last day of school!  It is bittersweet because although I am thrilled and excited to start homeschooling, I know it is a huge change for my kiddos (and me!).  I think we will take about 2 weeks off and then jump right into the second grade curriculum.  I am thinking about doing 8 weeks on and a week off throughout the year to minimize loss over the summer.  The co-op I belong to will be starting in September, so that gives us plenty of time to get a routine going before jumping into that.

I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!  TGIF!  Over and out.

xo

Why Fit In When You Were Born to Stand Out?

My friends, I will leave you this week with my latest digital collage painting...Why Fit In When You Were Born to Stand Out?

Strut, shine, prance, flaunt, be proud, show off...but do so with humility and grace.

Be you.  You are the only you, so be it.

Have a blessed weekend and I will see you on the other side if I survive my son's graduation party I am hosting here at my home.  Anyone who knows me knows for sure that I despise entertaining...I am actually quite the wallflower when in my natural state.

Sending love to you all...until Monday.  xo

The Mask

Although I know it's unfair, I reveal myself one mask at a time.

~Stephen Dunn

This is how I feel much of the time dealing with chronic Lyme, as do many other people who deal with chronic illness on a daily basis.  This is dedicated to all of those people out there dealing with pain  and illness but who still put on a smiling face to greet the world every single day.

Well, I am so excited to announce that it is official...I will be homeschooling the twins next year!  I have sent in my paperwork; I have ordered, received, and reviewed the curriculum; we have discussed it (for many many months) as a family and we feel this is the best course of action for us. It opens up a world full of possibilities for us and it will be fun, exciting, trying, exhausting, and well worth every minute that I get to spend with them.  I won't go into the very personal reasons we have decided go in this direction, but I will say it has nothing to do with the wonderful teachers my kids have had this year.  They have been supportive and wonderful with them, but I feel the best direction for us is homeschooling...at least through the elementary years.  So, let the adventure begin!

Soooo excited (mixed with a little worry too...)!  xo

Got Life?

I am in the very early stages of working on this collage right now.  Started with a vintage image and the idea is just starting to take shape...wonder where it will end up?  We shall see!

It has been a madhouse here at home.  Spring has rushed in and overwhelmed me in a matter of days! My oldest daughter is in a elite soccer league that plays twice a week at far-away fields (that requires 40 minutes one way driving) and practices on a third day.  My oldest son is in his senior year and gearing up for graduation and college.  His prom is this Saturday so we have been doing some last minute running for that.  My twins are both in separate baseball leagues (one in teeball since she has never played before and the other in a 7-8 league) which requires 3 separate days of games and practices.  In addition, the twins are in an after school fitness/cross country training program twice a week!  Not to mention homework, home/office/studio construction, my real estate photography business, my art, my many doctor appointments, and daily living requirements (laundry, anyone?).  Whew!  It is refreshing after coming out of a long and dormant winter, but, wowzers, I'd like to catch my breath!

It is the perfect time of year to stop and smell the new growing grass, but who has time for that?  You know what...me.  I have time.  I only have time because I choose to have time.  If the vacuuming has to wait, so be it.  I don't want to miss this miraculous transition spring gives us if I can help it.  So, I schedule in time just to go for a short walk around my property and stop to see things.  Sounds crazy, but I do.  

How do you all keep track of busy schedules and make sure you have time to appreciate the day?  I'd love to hear your organization ideas, scheduling ideas, or life management ideas!  You know what else I would love?  On-the-go healthy recipe ideas for a family that eats dinner and runs for most of the week...send them my way, please!  

By the way, I am taking reader questions again for a future post, so if you've got any burning questions, either personal or art or business or photography, drop me a line!  You can email me or PM me on Facebook!  Thanks in advance...the questions last time were fun and awesome!  

Have a wonderful Hump Day!  It is Wednesday, isn't it???

Birds of a Feather

I spent a lot of years trying to outrun or outsmart vulnerability by making things certain and definite, black and white, good and bad. My inability to lean into the discomfort of vulnerability limited the fullness of those important experiences that are wrought with uncertainty: Love, belonging, trust, joy, and creativity to name a few.

Brene Brown

This quote rang so true for me when I read it.  This is what I am trying to do now, as I change and grow into my best self...lean into the discomfort of vulnerability so that I can enjoy the fullness of my experiences.  Being vulnerable was never my strong suit.  I loved portraying the strong, confident woman who could maneuver in tight spots and still come out shining.  The one who always was in control and had it together.  The "I don't need anyone else" philosophy that kept most at an arm's length from knowing the real me.  Yeah, I was really good at that scheme.

The only problem is, all of that was a mask.  Through the past year, with the passing of my father and the diagnosis of my illness, I began a journey of self reflection.  Once I admitted that I was NOT always strong and confident, all the walls shattered and my real self was able to shine through.  I don't like feeling uncomfortable...who does?  But I now know growth can only take place when there are growing pains and growing pains are uncomfortable.  This move from photography to art was and still is uncomfortable and I had to be vulnerable in a whole new sense.  But it was worth the risk...it has paid dividends in the awesome feeling I get when I finish a piece of work.  

Vulnerability...I still don't like it, but I have realized it is my friend.  I was, for sure, a black/white type of person but now, as I change, I am finding there is a lot of beauty in the grays.  During this change, I have found myself flocking, so to speak, to those like minded people who are open to vulnerability and spirituality and introspection like I now am.  It feels like home.  It feels like my tribe.  I finally found where I belong.  I had to tear down the walls myself before I could be content and stand in this space, but here I am.  And I am happy with it.  

Birds of a Feather...so glad I have my flock along with me for this winged dance called life.  So glad you are a part of it too.

xo

Wish

Destiny has two ways of crushing us- by refusing our wishes and by fulfilling them.

~Henri Frederic Amiel

Waiting.

Wishing.

Waiting.

Wishing.

Sometimes I feel like that is what my days are filled with.

Waiting on something, someone, answers, compliance, obedience, time, health, the line to fade in front of me at the checkout, the hurt to go away.

Just give it time, they say.  Who are they anyway?  And I hate the way they say "just" in front of that, like it is something very trivial and easy to do.  Giving it time means choosing to sit stuck in whatever it is that you are waiting for.  Time is valuable.  I don't want to "just give it time" because then I am handing over my most valuable possession, the time I have here on this side of forever.

Patience has never been my best virtue.  It is pretty clear to see, if you know me well.  At least I know this and admit this about myself and I do work on it.  Like, the other day I was sitting in an oral surgeon's office waiting for my fate to be decided on the latest health crisis.  Forty minutes later I was still waiting as the doctor examine the CAT scan over and over and over.  Instead of getting anxious or upset, like I usually do, I began daydreaming about the girl-in-dresses series I'm working on and what the next piece would look like.  I was thinking about how badly I wished the news the doctor would bring me would be good news and all of this pain, worry, and frustration would go away.  

Wishing, wishing, wishing, praying...hmmmmm.  And the idea POPPED into my head...this little pixie girl in white floating away wistfully on a dandelion wish into a realm of fantasy and fun.  The idea was born, birthed into the universe during a moment that I could have wasted worrying and fretting.

So, yeah, I am getting better with my patience.  But I still have a long way to go.  Perhaps the next idea for this series will spring into my mind when I am standing in the grocery line later today. Perhaps.

Waiting.

Wishing.

Have a wonderful Wednesday.

xo

The Information Age

"The stone age was marked by man's clever use of crude tools; the information age, to date, has been marked by man's crude use of clever tools."

~Anonymous

As I was reading the memoir If You Find This Letter, I began thinking about my teenagers when I came to the following passage referring to receiving and sending hand written letters in the mail:

"Your generation is never going to have that," the professor said to us, scanning the room.  I remember her saying that more than anything else. 

Her words fell flat into a room full of millennials who were texting their friends beneath their desks. It wasn't a question.  It was a statement.  She was right.  It was nearly impossible to even think of sitting down and writing someone a letter.  It was incredibly intimidating to think of what I would say to someone without the filter of a 140-character limit.  But I never thought it meant we actually would miss something.

If You Find This Letter
page 96

 It made me sad to think that my kids will never experience the romanticism of sitting down and writing a letter, thinking about a person with each swoop of the pen, all the way through from the first well formed letter to the last period.  They will probably never know the satisfaction one feels pouring out your heart, your worries, your fears, your joys onto a piece of paper that you then send to a loved one who will hold that same piece of paper in their hands and hear your voice as they read and reread the letter over again.  

Unless, of course, I teach them that pleasure.  I wonder if it is too late to instill in them the importance of intimate communication instead of the type of communication that only requires 140 forty characters or less and pre-made emoticons?  Truly, think about how limiting that is...that teens now days are communicating with a given set of limited emoticons instead of using their minds to formulate words to convey meaning of an infinite amount of emotions.  Sad, limiting, and worrisome. 

I think I might just start a letter writing campaign myself, but instead of strangers, I will write my thoughts and feelings out on beautiful stationary to my children.  I want to leave a legacy for them, not just texts and emails that can be easily deleted.  I will start by rewriting my letter to my son that I have on the blog, but instead write it in my own handwriting on gorgeous stationary.  I think there is a connection one can feel to another by seeing the intricacies of their handwriting scratched onto a piece of stationary that can not be achieved by the typed word on a screen.

So, there it is.  Love letters to my children...a new tradition I plan on starting immediately.  I want them to feel my love as they hold the letter in their hands the same way I feel connected to my ancestors as I hold and read letters they have written to members of my family in a era long passed. There is so much that is great about the information age, but nothing can replace a handwritten love letter.

Have a wonderful day.

Govern the Clock

"I must govern the clock, not be governed by it." ~Golda Meir

A question someone asked me the other day sparked the idea for this piece.  An acquaintance and I were talking about my new eating lifestyle for inflammation control due to Chronic Lyme, and she asked how I could afford to eat organic whole foods all of the time.  How could I afford it financially and also afford it time wise as it takes a lot more time to eat this way because you just can't grab processed foods and go.

My answer to her was, "I can't afford not to...both with time and money."

You see, in my mind it is all about choices.  Yes, organic whole foods cost more.  Yes, it is time consuming to create meals that are healthy.  Yes, it takes more time to grocery shop and read labels.  Yes, it is a pain in the nether region to eat out at restaurants.  Yes, avoiding GMO's seems like a monumental task most days.  Yes, I must think ahead, plan, and pack my own food on outings to birthday parties, events, etc.  Yes, yes, yes!

With that said, our time here on this side of forever, walking this earth is limited.  I want to feel the best I can and take care of this body of mine, that I consider a divine gift from my Creator, while I am living in it.  My change of lifestyle when it comes to eating has allowed me to lose 36 pounds, weighing what I weighed before marriage and kids.  I still have symptoms of chronic Lyme and coinfections, but I can't control those little bacteria swimming in my veins.  I can, however, control my eating as not to feed the bacteria even more.  In my head, this change in eating, that began on August 9, 2014, allows me (at least in my head) to govern the clock so to speak.  I am buying myself time on this earth to spend with my loved ones by eating cleanly.  I may not have the final say on how long I get to roam the earth, but I will be trying to make this body work as best it can for me while I am blessed to be here.

So, "I can't afford not to," was not directed toward referencing money, but time as well.  How do you govern your clock...your time here on earth?  I'd love to hear how you take care of yourself and your families.

About the quote:  The quote for this piece of art is from Golda Meir, the first woman prime minister of Israel.  She was quite the remarkable woman.  After reading her short bio, it became clear to me how far behind the U.S. is in electing woman leaders. It really is sad.  If you'd like to learn more about this amazing woman, click through to the wikipedia article.

About the art:  This piece began as a vintage photo of a lady dressed in her finery.  I collaged in the tiger head, the bird, and the hourglass.  I then digitally painted the completed collage using Corel Painter and Adobe Photoshop CS6.  Then, I took the completed painting and added texture layers, the printed background, and adjustment layers in CS6.  I hope you like it!

On a sidenote, I am still accepting reader questions for a future post.  Just send me a message through the sidebar or go to Nine Acres Designs Facebook page and send a private message.  All questions are welcome, both personal (within limits) and professional!  So far the questions have spanned both areas!  Thanks to those who have already sent some in!

The Universe Was Made For Me

"The rabbis had this great thing.  

They say take two pieces of paper and on one of the pieces of paper write,

 'I come from the dust.'  

I come from the dust is a way to remind yourself of the power of humility.  It puts you in your place.  It gives you a perspective.  It brings you down a few notches...

And then on the second sheet of paper write,

 "The universe was made for me."

Now here's what the rabbis say...they say take those two pieces of paper 

and put one in one pocket and the other in the other pocket.  

And then take out which ever piece of paper you need 

depending on the day, the event, and the moment." 

~Rob Bell

After listening to the above quoted podcast, the two phrases, "I come from the dust." and "The universe was made for me." stuck in my head.  I knew immediately that I was going to create a collage related to these two phrases and the concepts behind them.  I just didn't know how or when I would do it.  

Then, the other night, I was browsing Flickr Commons in the Tyne & Wear Archives and Museums Collection when I came across these interesting vintage mug shots.  Immediately the podcast came back into my consciousness.  I browsed the collection of prisoner photographs from the North Shields Police Court between the years 1902 and 1916.  There was something about the eyes of these prisoners that captured me and brought me in.  I began wondering what their circumstances were, why they were committing crimes, and if they felt remorse for what they did.  I tend to be a bit of a storyteller and a people watcher, so this for me, was a perfect starting point for the The Universe Was Made For Me collage.  

If you are interested in hearing the entire podcast, you can listen below in the player. It was well worth the 33 minutes.

Have a wonderful day, y'all!

Pleasure Girl

I had a wonderful weekend...hoping you all did too.  I was very excited to be accepted into a new gallery that will start showing my work.  I will have three pieces hang in the month of April and I hope to have more in the future.  It is always nerve wracking putting your work out there in front of a jury to be scrutinized.  I am so glad it worked out!  More information will be forthcoming later in the week about what pieces will hang and when the opening of the show will be...stay tuned!

In addition, I found a new printer I will be working with to print some high quality giclee prints of some of my new work.  They accepted me into their artist program and I am excited to start this new relationship with them!

On Saturday I had the opportunity to shoot a local band, Soundtown Baltimore, doing a St. Patrick's Day festival at a near-by venue.  It was great to meet the band members and work with different lenses to grab some images for them!  I still need to edit them, but I am sure I got a few images they can use!

On Sunday I had a great day with the twins as we took them to a friend's birthday party at a skating rink.  The twins were excited to use their new rollerblades they got for Christmas and did an amazing job of staying on their feet!  I was super proud of them.  My oldest daughter got her learner's permit at the end of last week and has been learning how to drive with my husband.  She is doing great, having fun, and learning a lot.  My oldest son got his cap and gown already and when he tried it on, I teared up!  I can't believe my first born is graduating!  Crazy.  I love all 4 of those kids beyond measure.

This week will be packed with real estate shoots...heading out for one now...and editing!  So happy that I am well enough to keep up with all the wonderful blessings flowing into my life!  The doctor switched me back to a previous regimen I was on that was successful and I hope to see continued improvement with this combination of herbals.

Have a blessed week!

The Three Sisters

I've been struggling for while now with my health again since the doctor changed my medication regimen about a month ago.  I don't seem to be responding well to this new combination of herbals, so pain and various other symptoms have gotten the best of me lately.  It seems my only escape is art, and even then I can only do bits at a time because one of my symptoms is my hands freeze into claws...it is terrible.  The joints get stiff and painful in my hands and I can't type, edit, digitally paint, or anything that requires fine motor hand control.  Frustrating.

This piece took me a few days to work on for that reason.  It is comprised of 4 images that I digitally painted and then layered together with textures, and adjustment layers.  I loved the tension between the expression in the girls' faces and the whimsical birds and hot air balloon.  In a way, it represents my inside and outside selves...my inside self stoic and serious while trying to hide the pain but my outside self is all smiles and whimsy, not wanting to show how I truly feel.  It is this tension that I love about this piece.

In case you are interested, I restructured the Living With Lyme section of this blog, to try and make it easier to navigate.  I've been having lots of people contact me lately asking my advice about Lyme and I just thought it would be easier for people to find information if I restructured a bit.  It is a work in progress.  If you like my blog or my artwork, I would love a Pin on Pinterest or a share on Facebook or Twitter!  I am expanding the art side of my business and would love more exposure, if you are so inclined.  Don't forget, you can follow along on social media with the links in the sidebar as well.  Thanks!  Have a wonderful day!

Orange Collage

Collage of Orange...Pretty things Around the House

I went to see a medical intuitive/psychic yesterday.

Many of you will think I am weird for that,

but I honestly have an open mind about all things intuitive and spiritual.

My father's side of the family would never approve, 

however, my mother's side of the family all believe in this stuff and I tend to also.

Having said that, I do believe that there are many scam artists out there 

who are good at reading body language and are total flim-flam.

I go in with an open mind and for entertainment value only...

I don't change the course of my life over what she tells me.

Except...

Except this same psychic told me this time last year

(I've been to her twice now)

that I should mend my relationship with my father because he would be passing within the year.

Thank God I listened to her.

Had he not died a couple of months ago, I still would have heeded her advice 

because it is just good advice whether he was going to die or not.

She also told me that my medical problems had to do with hormones.

I didn't see the connection with hormones and my health until lately...

my adrenal glands have pretty much shut down

(they deal with releasing hormones in response to stress).

Hormones...BINGO!

Only, that is not the only thing going on with me, so she didn't pick up on the whole story.

So this year's visit was interesting because she channeled my father.

She said many things that were spot on for my father 

however, there were a few things I felt she was reacting to my reaction

to what she was saying, if that makes sense.

She said a couple of things that my father would not have said as well.

So, eh...it was fun, but I certainly am taking it with a grain of salt.

As far as her medical advice to me...

she jumped to several things including autoimmune disorder including lupus and fibromialgia.

Interesting, because both of those things have been thrown around in my case,

but nothing proven.  

And...what happened to her being so sure about my issues are created from hormones?

I definitely was entertained and it helped me come to realize

that I don't need anyone else, psychic or otherwise, to feel close to my father.

I know intuitively that he is still with me and watching over my family.

I just know it in my gut.

It was good to have that reminder and now I do feel a sense of calmness 

since I have gone to see her.

All I need is just my memories and the lessons my father taught me

and I will always, always be close with him.

And for that, I am thankful.

xo

Relics, Curiosities, and Autographs

My newest digital art creation...

this one has been sitting in my head for a while

and it had to come out.

Take time to explore and see what you can find...

How does this piece make you feel?

What time/place does it remind you of?

I am grateful today for the bit of free time I had to finally

get this one completed and out into the world where it belongs.

I don't often have free time to just explore my art,

so I am especially thankful for it today.

xo